


The Inferno

by princesskay



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alien Biology, Angst, Ethical Dilemmas, Eventual Relationships, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Feelings Realization, Fluff, Fuck Or Die, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Non-Graphic Violence, Resolved Sexual Tension, Science Fiction, Smut, but also romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-16
Updated: 2017-04-16
Packaged: 2018-10-19 18:21:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 24,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10645440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princesskay/pseuds/princesskay
Summary: When Voyager encounters an alien in distress, Kathryn is quick to beam the lifeform aboard in order to save his life. Her good deed does not go unpunished when she is infected with a serious illness by the alien. It's up to The Doctor and Chakotay to find a cure quickly enough, but the answer might not be what they expected - or hoped. Chakotay is faced with an ethical dilemma, one which pits his beliefs against his desires, and forces the feelings between he and Kathryn into the light of day.





	1. Chapter 1

The day that started it all started began as any other, at the tail-end of a rather unspectacular stretch of inactivity aboard  _ Voyager _ . 

He rose at 0600 hours as he always did, took a shower, dressed, and walked down to the mess hall half an hour later. After breakfast, he joined Kathryn for their daily rounds of the ship before heading up to the bridge for duty shift. 

“Well,” Kathryn said as they left Engineering after receiving another routine report from B’Elanna, “This must be some sort of record. Two full weeks without some sort of anomaly or excitement aboard the ship.” 

“I think everyone’s getting restless.” Chakotay replied with a chuckle.  

“I should be enjoying a few stress-free weeks.” Kathryn said, “But, I have to admit, I’m feeling a touch of cabin fever myself.” 

“Perhaps I could change up the duty shift assignments.” Chakotay said, “Putting Tom in sickbay instead of at the helm might spark some excitement around here.” 

Kathryn laughed, leaning into his arm. “Next thing you know, we’ll be placing bets on who’d win the fight between him and The Doctor.” 

“Anything but boredom, right?” 

They were both still chuckling when Kathryn combadge chirped with incoming transmission. 

“Tuvok to Captain Janeway.” 

“Yes, Tuvok?” Kathryn replied. 

“Captain, sensors have detected a ship ahead, and we’ve received a distress signal on all frequencies.” 

“We’re on our way.” Kathryn said. 

She hastened her stride toward the turbolift, shaking her head. 

“Speak of the devil.” Chakotay remarked. 

“This week could turn around yet.” Kathryn agreed. 

They rode the turbo lift up to the bridge, and emerged to see a small ship coming into view. 

“Report?” Kathryn asked as she marched up behind the helm to take a look at the viewscreen. 

“The ship is badly damaged.” Tuvok replied, “It is warp capable, but has a limited weapons array. Shields are down. There’s one lifesign aboard, but the readings are minimal.” 

“What does the distress signal say?” Kathryn asked. 

“It’s a generic SOS.” Tuvok said, 

“Is the lifeform humanoid?” Kathryn asked. 

“Yes.” 

“Open a channel.” 

“Channel open.” Tuvok reported. 

“This is Captain Kathryn Janeway of the  _ U.S.S. Voyager _ . We are responding to your distress signal. Do you need medical assistance?” 

The channel hummed with static for a moment before cutting off abruptly. Labored breathing rustled across the connection, followed by a low cough. 

“Please, help …”

“Tractor the ship.” Kathryn ordered, “And beam the lifeform directly to sickbay.” 

“Aye, Captain.” Harry said. 

As the tractor beam began to pull the small craft in, Kathryn waved for Chakotay to follow her to sickbay. 

“This could be a first contact situation.” She said, a smile curling her mouth, “Care to assist me?” 

“I’d love to.” 

When they reached sickbay, The Doctor was leaning over the figure shuddering helplessly on the table. He glanced over his shoulder when Kathryn and Chakotay entered. His face was written with worry. 

“How is he?” Kathryn asked. 

“Initial scans reveal almost every system in his body is in some sort of overdrive.” The Doctor reported, “I’ve given him three doses of sedative, but his body hasn’t responded.” 

Kathryn joined The Doctor at the bed, and looked over the man rocking and shaking on the table with a frown. 

“Do you know what’s happening to you? Were you attacked?” She asked, gripping the man’s shoulder, “How can we help you?” 

The alien’s eyes opened, revealing two black discs with no separation between pupil and iris. His skin was nearly white, with purplish-blue veins visible just beneath the surface. Pale, blond hair was matted to his scalp by the perspiration evident on his skin. He reached out a trembling hand to grasp Kathryn’s arm. 

“Help …” 

He pushed himself up onto his elbow, huffing with exertion. 

“We  _ want  _ to help you.” Kathryn said, “But we don’t know how. We’ve never studied your kind. We-”

Chakotay took a step forward as the alien clung onto Kathryn, dragging her down toward the bed with him. Alarm sirens rang through his head without explanation, intuition ordering him to grab Kathryn and get her as far away from this alien as possible. 

“Can’t you try to sedate him again?” He asked The Doctor. 

“I’ve tried.” The Doctor said, “It’s not working, Commander. If I can’t get his heart rate and adrenaline levels down, he’s going to go into cardiac arrest.” 

“We have to do something.” 

Chakotay marched toward the bed, not entirely knowing what he was going to do, but just as he came within arm’s reach of Kathryn, the alien lunged. As if in slow-motion, Chakotay watched as the alien’s jaw stretched open, releasing a long, forked tongue. The long, purple appendage shot like an attacking snake through the air and struck Kathryn’s neck with a sickening smack. Kathryn gasped, wrenching away from the alien, but unable to free herself as it clung onto her arms. 

“Kathryn!” Chakotay cried. 

Chakotay and the The Doctor darted into motion, both of them grabbing onto Kathryn to pull her free. Chakotay wrested the alien’s hands from her body, and The Doctor dragged her away from the bed.

The alien was hissing and lurching again Chakotay’s grip as he pinned it to the bed. The struggle lasted for only a few moments before the alien seemed to lose the last of its strength to the brief encounter. It collapsed to the sheets, eyes rolling back, limbs going limp. 

As soon as it was subdued, Chakotay spun from the bed. His heart dropped at the sight of The Doctor bending of Kathryn’s inert body, running the medical tricorder over her. He dropped to his knees beside her, grabbing her limp hand and clutching it to his chest. 

“Kathryn.” He whispered, running a hand over her cheek. 

She didn’t respond to his touch. There was no movement behind her eyelids. 

“Kathryn.” He repeated, his tone growing desperate. “Can you hear me?” 

“She’s unconscious.” The Doctor said, “She was out before she hit the floor.” 

“What the hell was that?” Chakotay snapped at The Doctor, thrusting a hand toward the unconscious alien on the bed. 

“I don’t know!” The Doctor cried, scanning Kathryn’s neck with the tricorder, “I think it was some sort of chemical transplant.” 

“Chemical what?” 

“The tongue injected some sort of hormonal compound!”

“What does that mean?” Chakotay demanded. 

The Doctor sank back on his heels, gazing in defeat at the tricorder. His gaze slowly crept up to meet Chakotay’s. 

“I’m afraid it means that whatever is happening to that alien lying on the table … is about to start happening to the captain.” 

 

~

 

When Kathryn awoke, her head was throbbing and her vision was fuzzy about the edges. The sickbay lights were dimmed, giving the illusion of rest. She was sweating, heat rolling down her body in waves, moisture thick on her skin. Her lungs were constricted, each breath causing her chest to ache. A strange weight sank low in her belly, a sensation she couldn’t quite decipher. 

She lifted her head cautiously from the pillow, wincing as pain shot through her skull. She licked her lips and tried to speak, finding her mouth bone dry. 

“Don’t try to stand up.” The Doctor’s voice whispered softly from above. 

“What happened?” Kathryn whispered, clutching a hand over her throbbing forehead. 

“The alien attacked you.” 

“I feel like I just got run over by a truck.” She groaned. 

“We think the tongue is some sort of injection tool.” The Doctor said. 

“What did it inject me with?” 

“We’re still trying to figure that out. The dispersal rate was extreme. We weren’t able to get a very good sample before it spread into your bloodstream.” 

Kathryn let out a steadying breath, and attempted to open her eyes again. Despite the low lighting in the sickbay, the illumination made her eyes ache and sting. The Doctor came into view above her, his brow furrowed with concern. 

“While you were unconscious, Commander Chakotay had to restrain the alien. It seems to be intent on getting off that table and getting it’s hands on you again.” 

“I should have been more careful.” Kathryn said, squeezing her eyes shut again a wave of nausea. “I know how dangerous first contact can be.” 

“We thought it needed help.” 

“It does need help.” Kathryn said, “But I’m not the one to give it to him. We have to find more of his kind. Maybe they know what he wants.” 

“Captain, it attacked you.” 

“I don’t care.” Kathryn insisted, “He’s a lifeform, and we have to do what we can to preserve his life.” 

She struggled to push herself up onto her elbows. Her head swam and ached, threatening to drive her back to unconsciousness. A hand squeezed her shoulder, pressing her back down against the sheets. 

“Lie still.” Chakotay whispered

His voice cut through the fog rolling over her mind like a verbal analgesic, soothing the pain splitting her skull. 

She opened her eyes to see him leaning over the bed, his face tense with worry. 

“You should be on the bridge.” She whispered, “Trying to find this alien’s people.”

“I’m not leaving you.” He said, his brows furrowing stubbornly. 

“I’m in good hands with The Doctor.” 

Chakotay’s palm touched her cheek and forehead, his skin cool in comparison to her own. 

“She’s burning up.” He said, urgently. “Doctor, you have to do something.”

“I’ve done everything I can think of.” The Doctor replied, “I’ll have to run more tests.” 

Chakotay cast him a sharp glance over his shoulder as The Doctor left the bedside and went to his desk with the medical tricorder. 

“Chakotay, I’m going to be fine.” Kathryn said, reaching out a trembling hand to squeeze his arm.

Her bones felt brittle, her muscles fragile and lifeless. The simple action of lifting her hand from the bed sapped strength from deep inside her. 

“You look like hell.” Chakotay said, “And that alien is half-dead. At the rate of progression, The Doctor says it could be a matter of hours before it dies.” 

“Then we should be doing all we can to find a cure.” 

“All due respect, I don’t care if that thing lives or dies after what it’s done to you.” 

Kathryn closed her eyes. Chakotay’s fervent words might have enraged her if she’d been whole and healthy, but in her diminished state, she was touched by his protective instincts. She suddenly found herself wanting to crawl into his arms and melt into the strength of his chest. She could rest easy knowing he had her securely in his embrace. 

“Chakotay.” She whispered. 

His fingers gathered her petite hand into his grasp, squeezing in soft reassurance. 

“I’m here.” He said. 

“If The Doctor can’t find a cure … we have to investigate whether the alien’s race can help us or not.” She said, “There might be a natural remedy.” 

He nodded, his jaw taut. 

“Go up to the bridge and lead the search.” She said, pressing as much strength into her voice as she could. “That’s an order, Commander.” 

He lingered a moment longer, his gaze running anxiously over her pained expression. 

“Yes, Captain.” He said, at last. 

He bent to kiss her forehead, leaving the warm mark of his lips on her skin before he withdrew from the bed. She watched him stride out of sickbay, her body revolting against her for letting him leave. The contact of his skin against hers had eased the pain pounding through her skull by a measure. She closed her eyes to preserve the memory of his mouth against her forehead, hoping it could sustain her until they found a cure. 

 

~

 

Chakotay returned to the Bridge as Kathryn his had ordered him, and told Harry to begin scanning as much of the region as possible. 

“Is Captain Janeway all right?” Harry asked. 

The Bridge crew paused from their duties to look to Chakotay hopefully. 

“She’s going to fine.” Chakotay said, “She’s in good hands with The Doctor. I expect everyone to continuing performing their duties without delay.” 

“Yes, sir.” Harry mumbled. 

“I’m going down to Cargo Bay 1 to inspect the alien’s ship.” Chakotay said, “Tuvok, you’re in charge while I’m gone.” 

Tuvok nodded, and left the tactical station to take command. 

Chakotay stepped back into the turbo lift. The moment the doors slid shut, he dragged a hand over his face and let out a weary sigh. His concern for Kathryn clutched at his chest like a vice, suffocating him. He couldn’t stop himself from imagining the worst case scenario. Even though they’d been through hell together, he was afraid that this time, they wouldn’t get the answers they needed in time. The thought of her death shook him to the core in a way no other loss ever had. He’d lost people during his time in the Maquis, but he didn’t know if he could go on should something fatal happen to Kathryn. 

B’Elanna and Seven of Nine were already inspecting and scanning the alien’s ship when he arrived in the Cargo Bay. The vessel was no larger than a shuttle, but it was slender and sleek, built for fast travel. Despite the damage to the outer hull, the ship was well-preserved and in one piece. 

“What have you found so far?” He asked as he ducked into the cockpit. 

“This ship is advanced.” B’Elanna said, “The weapons are limited, but it has highly specialized scanning devices. Just from looking over it, I’d say this thing could manage Warp 8, maybe even 9.” 

“Anything in the data banks of value?” Chakotay asked. 

“I’ve begun downloading all the data. Some of the systems were damaged by weapon’s fire, but I will be able to reconstruct most of it.” Seven said, “There’s a substantial amount of information from scans of this region, nearly two teraquads of data so far.” 

“That’s impressive, but is there anything here to help the Captain’s condition?” 

“I’ve found several star charts.” Seven said, “I will upload them to Astrometrics and attempt to decipher them.” 

“Good. Maybe they can lead us to this alien’s homeworld or someone who can tell us what’s happening to them. I want you to forget about the rest of the data for now and focus on the charts.” 

Seven nodded. Gathering her padd and tricorder, she left the ship for Astrometrics. 

B’Elanna turned, leaning against the command console as Chakotay looked over the data Seven had been viewing. 

“I haven’t seen you this worried since we lost Seska’s scouting crew in the Badlands that one time.” She said. 

“The captain’s life is at stake.” Chakotay replied, scowling at the stream of data on the screen before him. 

“You were willing to face a Cardassian battalion to get them back.” B’Elanna reminded him, “Or should I say, to get Seska back.” 

“Are you trying to make some sort of point?” Chakotay asked, sharply, casting her glare. 

“You really cared about Seska.” B’Elanna said, “Even if she did end up hurting you. I’m just saying, maybe you ought to tell Captain Janeway how you feel before we’re facing the Badlands and a whole lot of Cardassians again.” 

“You’re one to lecture me about feelings.” 

B’Elanna shrugged, the jab rolling off her shoulders. 

“All I’m saying is, I know you.” She said, “You’re private as hell, and you pretend like nothing bothers you even if you’re dying to get it off your chest. If you’re waiting around for her to guess how you feel, you might not get the chance.” 

“You’re out of line, Lieutenant.” Chakotay said, “Engineering is your department; you should stick with what you’re good at.” 

“Oh, don’t pull rank on me.” B’Elanna objected. 

Chakotay didn’t bother to reply as he stepped out of the craft. He didn’t have to tell B’Elanna to keep analyzing the ship; she knew what she had to do. The only question that remained was what he would do if Kathryn’s condition became critical. 

 

~

 

For the next several hours, Chakotay tried to make himself useful on the Bridge, but his mind was never far from Kathryn. When the day shift was finally relieved of duty, he made his way directly to sickbay. 

The Doctor was at his desk, entering information into the computer. 

“Commander,” He said, a shadow of dread falling across his face. 

“Doctor, do you have anything new to report?” 

“No good news, I’m afraid.”

Chakotay nodded, stiffly. He hadn’t been holding out hope that The Doctor would somehow magically find a cure in five hours, but the remark still made his heart lurch. 

“All right, lay it on me.” He said, “I want all the facts.” 

“I conducted several more tests just to be sure what I was seeing.” The Doctor said. He rose from his chair, and circled the desk to offer his padd to Chakotay. 

Chakotay took the device, and looked over the data listed with mild confusion. 

“I’m not a scientist.” Chakotay said, “What am I seeing here?” 

“Elevated levels of neurotransmitters and neuropeptides, specifically dopamine, estrogen, testosterone, and more.” 

“All hormones.” 

“Yes.” The Doctor said, pursing his lips. 

Chakotay’s gaze wandered to the beds where the alien was restrained and Kathryn was curled up asleep. His stomach knotted as conclusions clustered in the back of his mind. 

“While I was studying the alien, I started seeing several genetic markers similar to Vulcans.” The Doctor continued, “Specifically, those associated with mating.” 

“Hold on, hold on.” Chakotay interrupted, holding up a hand, “What are you saying?” 

“I believe this alien is in the midst of a violent but natural mating cycle.” The Doctor said, “Something that could be easily remedied if he were among his own kind. Unfortunately, he was out here alone with a damaged ship and no female of his species.” 

“And he somehow infected the captain with the same condition?” Chakotay asked, his horror mounting, “They’re not the same species. How is that even possible?” 

“It’s completely possible if there are enough genetic similarities.” The Doctor said. 

“What can we do to stop this? Obviously this alien is not going to be  _ mating  _ with the captain.” Chakotay said, his jaw clenching around the words. 

“At the moment, I still don’t know.” The Doctor said, “I’ve tried boosting her hormones which have negative effect on reproduction, but so far I’ve seen minimal results. I feel that I’m only prolonging the inevitable.” 

“Which is what, Doctor?” Chakotay said, setting the padd down on the desk with a clatter. “Are you telling me the only way Kathryn lives for through this is for her to- … to-”

“Mate?” The Doctor supplied, “That is the natural course of things, Commander.” 

Chakotay turned toward the beds, dragging a hand over his face. His blood ran hot, pumping enraged fire through his chest like lava flow. He wanted to drag the alien from it’s bed, and fling it out an airlock. But he knew getting rid of the cause of Kathryn’s illness wouldn’t cure her. They needed the alien to get the answers. 

“You have to keep trying, Doctor.” He said, “I don’t care how long it takes. There has to be some way of stopping this.” 

“Of course. I won’t deactivate myself until I do.” 

“What about the alien?” Chakotay asked, “Is he lucid? Can you wake him?” 

“Why?” 

“I want to speak with him.” Chakotay said, “He has to know what’s happening to her; he’s the one who did it to her.” 

“I don’t know if I would advise-”

“Well, can you?” 

The Doctor held up his hands in defeat. He took a hypospray to the alien’s bed, and injected him in the neck. 

Chakotay marched to the bed, and glared impatiently at the alien as he began to stir. 

“I was able to lower his heart rate.” The Doctor said, “That stage seems to have passed, but he’s very weak now. You have five minutes with him.” 

“Thank you.” 

The Doctor departed just as the alien’s eyes began to open. His black eyes darted around the sickbay before coming to rest on Chakotay. 

“Who are you?” He whispered. 

“I’m Commander Chakotay. You’re aboard the _ U.S.S. Voyager. _ We found your ship drifting in space. Do you remember what happened?”

“I was attacked.” The alien whispered, “Oh, thank you so much for rescuing me. I thought was going to die alone out there.” 

“Don’t thank me yet.” 

The alien sank back against the pillow, fear evident in his wide, dark eyes. 

“Do you remember what you did to my captain?” Chakotay asked, “When we first brought you here?” 

The alien swallowed thickly, his eyes shifting to where Kathryn lay on the bed next to them. 

Chakotay grabbed him by the jaw, forcing the alien’s eyes back to him. 

“You don’t look at her.”

“I’m sorry.” The alien cried, “I didn’t mean to hurt her, I-”

“What did you do?” Chakotay demanded, “How can we stop what’s happening to her?” 

“You can’t!”

“There has to be a way.”

“Please, don’t hurt me.” The alien whimpered, eyes squeezing shut as Chakotay leaned closer. 

Chakotay released his face with a dissatisfied grunt, and paced away from the bed. 

The alien lapsed back against the sheets, breathing laboriously. 

“If you won’t tell me, I’ll find someone who will.” Chakotay said, “Where are you from? Are your people close by?” 

“My name is Nomi.” The alien said, “I’ve been on a data gathering mission with my wife for the last two years. We were attacked several days ago. They took her …” 

Chakotay’s anger cooled as Nomi collapsed into tears. 

“Who took her?” He asked. 

“Raiders.” Nomi said, “The Naparre. They take what isn’t theirs and sell it for profit. Now I fear my darling Myrnah will be bargained away like technology and weapons are …”

“Where can we find these Naparre?” Chakotay asked. 

“You don’t find them. They find you.” 

With this dire warning, Nomi sank back against the pillow. Chakotay shook his shoulder, but the alien was unconscious again. 

“That’s enough for now.” The Doctor said, “If he is ever to recover, he needs rest.” 

“What about the captain?” Chakotay asked, “Have you told her yet what’s happening?” 

“No.” The Doctor said, lowering his head, “It’s not exactly news I’m jumping to tell her about.” 

“She needs to know.” 

“Of course.”

“When she wakes up again, call me.” Chakotay said, “I don’t care what time of night it is.” 

“Yes, Commander.” 

Chakotay hovered by Kathryn’s sleeping figure for a moment before retreating. He was afraid if he touched her again, the last of his objectivity would be gone. He had to find Nomi’s people, and whether he liked it or not, he had to rescue Nomi’s wife. It was what Kathryn would want. 

 

~

 

Kathryn dragged herself to consciousness as if crawling up out of a deep, dark hole and toward the sun. Every inch of her body ached, a deep, dull throb that resonated into the marrow. Her skin was crawling with a strange hunger that made her want to claw at her own flesh and scream in agony. Every sensation was heightened - the brightness of the lights, the temperature of the room, the chafe of fabric against her skin, the sound of the monitors beeping and whirring. She wanted to crawl back into that warm, quiet place, but now that she was aware of her body’s aches and pangs, she couldn’t retreat back to unconsciousness. 

She attempted to sit up. Deep inside, she was lurching to go. But go where? She had no real reason to leave the sickbay other than the directions her body was giving her. 

“You must be feeling it strongly now.” 

Kathryn gasped, head whipping toward the sound of the alien’s voice. The motion made her head spin, and she fell back against pillow with a moan. 

“Feeling what?” She panted, clutching a hand over her forehead. “What did you do to me?” 

“The fire …” 

“Yes, I’m burning up.” 

“It’s inside you, too. This must be very strange for you … I’m sorry for putting you through this, Captain. Can I call you Captain?” 

Kathryn turned her head toward the voice, and pried her eyes open. 

The alien was curled up at the edge of his bed, his wide, black eyes staring at her with unblinking focus. His face was pale and rigid, perspiration trickling down his forehead. His fists clutched the corner of the pillow, fighting the tremble rippling through his entire body

“What’s happening?” She whispered, fear pressing tears the backs of her eyes. 

“On my planet, we respect this time.” The alien whispered, “It’s a beautiful, sacred meeting of two souls.”

Kathryn searched the alien’s face for further explanation. 

“Your friend was here. Commander Chakotay.” The alien said, smiling despite the pain twisting his face. “He must love you very much.” 

Kathryn swallowed against her dry throat, unable to conjure a response. Her brain was loud and cluttered with every possible emotion, each one screaming to be fulfilled. She was trying to contain a storm, one that pounded against her body with effortless destruction. 

“You look very much like my wife.” The alien continued. 

She gave up trying to follow any logical pattern in this one-sided conversation. The alien was delirious with his illness;  _ their  _ illness. 

“It was completely accidental. I would never ask an unwilling participant to mate with me. I would want it to be with my wife, but she was taken from me, you see-”

“Mate?” Kathryn whispered, her voice scratchy and hoarse. 

She forced herself up onto her elbows, gritting back the ache that rippled through her body with the movement. 

The alien’s eyelids fluttered shut. 

“What do you mean ‘mate’?” Kathryn demanded. 

“Captain!” 

The Doctor rushed into the sickbay, carrying a tray of samples and instruments. Discarding the tray on his desk, he snatched up the medical tricorder and dashed across the room to her side. 

“You’re awake.” He said, waving the tricorder in front of her face, “This is a good sign.” 

“Doctor, what’s happening to me?” She demanded. 

“Well,” The Doctor’s expression fell. 

“What is he saying?” Kathryn asked, casting horrified gaze at the alien lying on the bed across from her. 

“He’s right, unfortunately.” The Doctor said, “When he used his tongue to inject you, he transferred some sort of hormonal compound which has acted like a pathogen, taking over your entire reproductive system.” 

Kathryn gazed in shocked silence for several moments, her fever-addled brain struggling to accept the brutally honest response.

“I’m sorry, Captain. So far, I haven’t been able to find a cure.” The Doctor said. 

Kathryn looked between The Doctor and the alien for a moment before she began pushing the sheets back.  

“What are you doing?” The Doctor cried, “Lie back down!”

“No, I need to get up.” Kathryn insisted, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed, “I won’t lie here and let my body be taken over by some mindless pathogen. Get Chakotay in here now. I want a report!”

“Captain, no-”

Kathryn pushed The Doctor aside as he attempted to ease her back against the pillow. Her head swam as she brought herself upright, but she ignored the tide of nausea. Planting her feet on the floor, she hoisted herself off the bed. Adrenaline carried her up out of the bed, but the moment her weight bore down on her legs, she felt her knees buckle. 

The Doctor managed to catch her around the waist before she struck the floor, and he eased her down gently. 

“Captain, you’re too weak.” He said, “You’ve lost a lot of fluids.” 

“Help me up. I’m fine.” 

“Captain, you don’t understand-”

“Doctor, if you don’t get me up off this floor in the next five seconds, I swear to God, I will deactivate your program.” 

The threat hovered in the air for terse moment before The Doctor wrapped an arm around her waist, and helped her to her feet. 

Kathryn grabbed onto the edge of the bed, and held herself upright. 

“Get Chakotay.” She whispered. 

The Doctor tapped his combadge without further hesitation. 

“Sickbay to Chakotay.” 

“Chakotay here. Is she awake?” 

“And asking for you.” 

“I’ll be right there.” 

The Doctor cast her a raised brow. 

“Thank you.” She conceded. 

“Will you at least take a seat while Commander Chakotay gives you the report?”

Kathryn nodded. She didn’t want to admit that she couldn’t stand much longer without falling again. She accepted The Doctor’s help to ease her onto the edge of the bed, and rested there with her face in her hands until Chakotay arrived in sickbay. 

Her head rose sharply when she heard the doors of sickbay hissed open. Anticipation crept down her spine and into her belly, dispersing warmth at the core. She gripped the edge of the mattress, willing herself not to lurch off the bed again in order to reach him faster. 

He came to her at a quick stride, his expression both relieved and worried at the sight of her. He was in his trousers and a gray t-shirt, not having bothered to put his uniform back on to deliver the report. As he drew closer, the clean, sharp scent of him invaded her nostrils. 

She drew in a sharp breath, startled by the sudden height of her senses. Every fiber of her seemed to vibrate in his presence, aching to be closer to him. 

“Captain.” He said, his voice strained with worry. 

“It looks worse than it is.” She said, struggling to form a lopsided smile. 

“You don’t have to lie to me. The Doctor told me what’s happening.” He said, his head lowering as he drew closer. 

“I see.” 

They were silent for several moments before Kathryn cleared her throat. 

“I asked you here for a report.” 

“Right.” Chakotay said, poising his hands on his hips. “I did as you told me and started sweeping the region for Nomi’s planet.” 

“Nomi?” 

“That’s his name.” Chakotay said, motioning to the alien lying rigidly in the bed, “I spoke to him while you were asleep. He told me that he and his wife were on a data gathering mission when they were attacked by some raiders called the Naparre. They took his wife, and damaged his ship.”

“What do we know about these Naparre?” 

“Not much. I’ve been in Astrometrics with Seven for the past several hours trying to get more information, but it’s scarce. We are also having trouble locating Nomi’s planet. Right now, we’re still scanning, hoping to come up with something useful.”

Kathryn nodded, trying to process the information as a captain would. She couldn’t focus on the specifics with her body throbbing and aching. The sharp pain had faded to a constant, dull pang that longed for fulfillment. She could fight through it alone, but with Chakotay standing in front of her, the desires pounding through her were overwhelming. 

She pressed a hand to her forehead, fighting the urge to get up off the bed and go to him. 

“Captain, are you all right?” Chakotay asked, softly. 

She waved a hand in response. Even her voice was paralyzed by this sudden, overpowering desire to join, to touch. The need was a roar in the back of her mind, growing louder and louder as his voice, his smell, his presence bore down on her. 

She bit back a cry when his hand touched her knee. She recoiled as if burned, only to latch onto his wrist before he could retreat. 

“Kathryn.” He whispered her name, fear and panic present in every syllable. 

She gripped his wrist until her knuckles blanched, but he didn’t pull away or wince in pain. He shifted closer, placing his other hand on her thigh. His palm seeped warmth into her skin, searing straight through the cotton. 

“Kathryn.”

She bowed forward, her body dragged toward him as if magnetically attracted. Her forehead pressed against his chest, drawing strength from the steady rise and fall, the warmth of his body, the deep, musky scent of him. The pounding pain tapered off to a dull hum, and she closed her eyes to greet the rush of relieving warmth that trickled down her spine. 

Chakotay’s hand moved from her thigh to her shoulder, squeezing softly. His chest shuddered beneath her head with a tremulous breath. 

He was hesitant to take her in his arms, and normally, she would have agreed. Long ago, they’d drawn an invisible line between them to mark the spot where they would have strayed out of professional boundaries, and they had always respected that line. But now, Kathryn couldn’t focus on duty or regulations. This longing inside her was more than she could bear; it was threatening to break her like a twig under its crushing weight. 

“Chakotay-” She choked out, her fingers latching onto his shirt to pull him closer. 

He stumbled closer, whispering her name in response. 

She pressed herself fully against him, and thrust her face into his neck. His skin was warm and dry, and she could almost smell his blood racing just beneath the surface. His hands slid over her back, tenderly completing the embrace. 

A sob wrenched from her throat, the emotion displaced but visceral and demanding. She did not cry easily, no matter what pain or misery she was in, but this brutal, crushing drive was more than she could contain. It was beyond her to control, to even understand the weight of these tears. She could only cling to him, soaking the fabric of his shirt for long, agonizing moments of blistering vulnerability. 

When the staggering emotion began to abate, she sniffed and wiped her face with the sleeve of her gown. His hands stayed at her shoulders, gaze tracking worriedly over her wet face. 

“It’s going to be okay.” He said, “We’re going to get you through this.” 

“I’m sorry.” She whispered, hoarsely, “I don’t know what-”

“Shh, don’t apologize.” 

His thumb stroked her cheek, dashing away the last, errant tear. She turned her face into the warmth of his hand, the only sensation that wasn’t tearing her apart. 

“I have this handled.” He said, “You need to stay in bed and rest.”

“No, I can’t stay here.” She argued, “I need to get up, keep working. This isn’t going to break me, Chakotay.”

“This is not a test of your strength. You don’t have to prove that you’re stronger than this.”

“That’s not it.”

“Yes, it is. Starfleet Regulations state that if a captain is too ill to command, the first officer has the right and the duty to relieve her. And right now, according to The Doctor, you are medically incapacitated. I’m ordering you to stay here while I take command.” 

Kathryn lifted her misty eyes to his stoic expression. His tender compassion had turned to immovable rock, and she didn’t have the strength to argue with him. 

She gave a limp nod. 

“Good.” He said, releasing a breath. He’d expected a bigger fight. 

“Captain.” The Doctor said, approaching the bed cautiously. 

Taking a step back, Chakotay severed their connection, leaving Kathryn’s body internally screaming. Whatever remedy his touch had provided was ripped away the instant his fingers left her shoulder. Pain snared like fire up her spine and nape, and down into the center of her body. She clutched a hand over her midsection as The Doctor stepped up to the bed with a hypospray in hand. 

“I’ve been working on a new formula that I hope will slow the rate of progression.” He said, “If you’ll allow me?”

Kathryn lifted her chin to give him access to her neck, and he injected the full amount of the hypospray into her bloodstream. 

“Now, I recommend rest and fluids.” He said, “Your body is severely depleted. It’s been in overdrive since Mr. Nomi here attacked you. I’m going to administer some fluids intravenously since you’re in no condition to eat real food.” 

Kathryn nodded her agreement, but her gaze remained fixed on Chakotay. He was like a liferaft in the middle of deep, dark ocean, but she knew he couldn’t stay here indefinitely to keep her head above water. He had duties. He had a job to do. 

“Commander,” The Doctor said to Chakotay, “I think it would be best if you expend your efforts on the Bridge. I have two patients to treat.” 

“Of course, Doctor. I want updates every hour, though.”

“Yes, sir.” 

Chakotay hovered as The Doctor helped Kathryn back under the bed sheets. When he departed to get the IV and fluids, Chakotay leaned over the bed to kiss her temple. She reached up to clutch his shirt, biting back a plea for him to stay. 

“It’s going to be okay.” He whispered. 

Then he turned and left sickbay at a determined stride, his hands curled into fists at his sides. Kathryn watched him leave, repeating his reassurance in her mind. She didn’t know how much he truly believed his own words, but she had to believe her fate wasn’t yet sealed. They had always found a way out of bad situations before; this one couldn’t be any different. 


	2. Chapter 2

Over the next day and a half, Chakotay split his time between the Bridge and Astrometrics. Seven was working around the clock to upload all of Nomi’s star charts in attempt to locate his homeworld.

The alien wasn’t of much more use to them in his diminished state. To extend his life, The Doctor had put Nomi in a medically induced coma. Chakotay had argued the decision, hoping that Nomi would regain consciousness and be able to instruct them on a course setting for his homeworld, but The Doctor had insisted. Nomi’s body was slowly killing him with the constant influx of hormones and adrenaline, and sedation seemed to be the only way to ease the rapid progression of the condition. 

The Doctor’s reports came in by the hour, each one following the same pattern and tone. No improvements. Sedation and intravenous administration of fluids for both patients. No cure, no end in sight. 

Meanwhile, scans of the region and Seven’s work in Astrometrics had availed nothing but endless streams of useless data, tired eyes, and frayed nerves. This area of space was scarce; there was no one to contact for help.  _ Voyager  _ sailed on towards infinite stars. 

Chakotay slept restlessly over the next two nights, fighting the urge to go up to sickbay to be with Kathryn. He couldn’t get the The Doctor’s remark out of his head:  _ That’s the natural course of things.  _

With every hour that passed, the truth of that statement was affirmed by the harsh reality of Kathryn’s condition. She was quickly approaching the condition Nomi had been in when he first arrived on the ship. Desperate, delirious, and on the verge of collapse. Chakotay feared going to sickbay just as much as longed to watch over her for the singular, gut-wrenching fear that he might enter to find her restrained as Nomi had been. 

On the third evening after Nomi’s arrival, Chakotay was pacing his quarters when The Doctor’s voice reached from his combadge sitting by the bed. 

Chakotay snatched the device from his nightstand, and tapped it with his thumb. 

“What is it, Doctor?” 

“She’s awake.” 

Chakotay closed his eyes, fighting the clutch of both nausea and hope in his chest. 

“Commander?” 

“I’m coming.” 

Chakotay left his quarters, and marched down the hall to the turbolift. His stomach churned, dreading what he would find in sickbay. He’d seen Nomi’s condition with his own two eyes, and he didn’t know if he could stand to see Kathryn that way. 

When the turbolift doors opened, he drew in a deep breath and squared his shoulders. He took the familiar corridors to the sickbay, trepidation bearing down on him with every step. As the doors of sickbay came into view, he paused in the middle of the hall, his hands flexing at his sides. Perspiration itched between his shoulder blades. The deafening bass of his own heartbeat pounded in his ears. 

He forced himself to keep walking, to face the reality of what lay beyond those doors. 

The automatic doors slid open, admitting him to sickbay. The lights were dimmed, the temperature scaled back to prickling coolness. 

The Doctor greeted him just across the threshold. 

“How is she?” Chakotay asked, squinting through the shadows to make out Kathryn’s figure huddled on the bed. 

“Not good.” The Doctor said, “I’ve been doing all I can, but my treatment seems to be only delaying the effects of the pathogen.” 

“What’s left?” 

“This isn’t a disease, Commander.” The Doctor said, “It’s a natural occurrence in Nomi’s race. It seems that the male of the species goes into heat first, and when he finds a suitable mate, he initiates the mating process with the tongue. From there, it seems the only remedy is … copulation.” 

“Even the Vulcans have ways of stopping the mating process.” Chakotay said, “There has to be a way.” 

“There very well may be, but we might not find it before it’s too late.” 

“What are you suggesting?” Chakotay snapped, bringing his gaze to bear on The Doctor’s resigned expression. 

“I cannot prescribe anything for this condition.” The Doctor said, “And if Nomi were with his wife, he wouldn’t be in danger at all. In fact, he would be in better than average health. This isn’t a negative biological anomaly.” 

“But it’s killing them.” Chakotay said, “I don’t care how elegant you find this species’ mating process. Right now, the captain’s life is at stake.” 

“I’m doctor, not a miracle-worker, Commander. If I could snap my fingers and make this go away, I would.”

“It’s her body.” Chakotay said, “We can’t make this decision for her. You’re proposing that we let this alien touch her-”

“That’s not what I’m proposing at all.” 

Silence fell over the sickbay. The beep and hiss of the machines grew louder in Chakotay’s ears as the realization of what The Doctor was saying struck him like a tidal wave. 

“Besides, I’m afraid that this condition would not be cured by mating between two unbonded people.” The Doctor said, “Nomi needs his wife to complete this ritual. In his delirium, he only mistook Captain Janeway for his mate.” 

Chakotay drew in a shuddering breath, and dragged a hand over his face. He knew just what The Doctor was suggesting; something he’d thought about but had never believed would become reality. 

“And Nomi isn’t who the captain needs-”

“I’m stopping you right there.” Chakotay said, swinging his gaze back to The Doctor, “What you’re suggesting breaks every moral and ethical boundary that I believe in.”

“Does her dying fit those parameters?” 

“No. But I have to believe there is an alternative. We haven’t exhausted all the options yet.” 

The Doctor appeared as if he would protest, but Chakotay held up a hand. 

“Now, you said she was awake?” He asked. 

The Doctor nodded, and waved a hand toward the bed. 

Chakotay brushed past him, and approached Kathryn’s huddled figure. She was curled up in the fetal position, blankets strewn about her waist. Perspiration glimmered at her temples and throat, the thin gown clinging damply to her back.

Her eyelids fluttered open as he drew closer. Her hand crept across the mattress, reaching out for him with trembling fingers. 

He took her hand, and eased onto the edge of the bed next to her. 

“Report?” She whispered. 

Chakotay clenched his jaw as she shifted against the bed, wincing in pain. 

“I’m sorry, we’re still searching.” He said. 

“I heard what The Doctor said.” She murmured, her voice paper-thin and coarse. 

“He’s wrong.” Chakotay said, “We’re going to find a cure. You’re going to be all right.” 

Her hazy, blue eyes lifted to meet his, the delirium rolling back for a moment of clarity. He saw his captain again for a brief moment - her fiery determination, her unbreakable will, her uncompromising honesty. 

“You don’t have to say that just for my sake.”

“It’s the truth.” 

She drew in a shuddering breath as she attempted to push herself up against the pillows. 

“Chakotay-”

“Don’t try to get up.” He said, pressing her back against the pillows with a gentle hand on her shoulder. 

“Chakotay, listen to me-”

“You need to rest-”

“I can still speak, damnit.” 

He retreated, ducking his head away from her flashing eyes. He knew he wouldn’t like what he heard next. 

She took his hand, her frail fingers lacing through his own. 

“I’ve been through a lot.” She whispered, “But nothing like this.” 

“I’m sorry. I’m doing all I can.” 

“I know, I know …” She breathed out, her eyes slipping shut. Her fingers curled over his knuckles, dragging his hand to her chest. 

He clenched his jaw as she pressed his palm over her breastbone. He could feel the race of her heartbeat under his hand, the rattle of her lungs with each breath, the feverish heat of her skin. 

“Can you feel it?” She whispered, clutching his wrist with sudden strength. 

Chakotay leaned over her, and pressed his other hand to her forehead. She was burning up. Delirious. 

He indulged the question despite his conclusion. “Feel what?” 

“The fire.” She mumbled, her eyes rolling open to meet his, “It’s consuming me …” 

“Kathryn,” He whispered, emotion choking his voice. 

“I can’t bear to look at you.” She whispered, her jaw clenching and flushing with heat. Her eyes widened, glassy and dilated with fever. “It’s torture …”

His heart palpitated at the simple but devastating statement. Under pain of death, their mantle of protocol and decorum was stripped away. The secrets she’d held trapped behind her lips for so long spilled easily with this illness deteriorating her strength. They were naked in this flame, and he didn’t have the forbearance to take on her role as gatekeeper of duty. 

“I’ll go if you want me to.” He said. 

“No!” She gasped.

She dragged him closer, until he was bent over her shuddering chest and their faces were inches apart. He braced himself against the pillow, his arm trembling to keep himself from collapsing into the inviting energy radiating from her skin. As he leaned closer, he could smell the intoxicating musk of need on her. 

“I need you.” She whispered, her voice quaking with desperation, “I can’t stand one more second of this.”

“Kathryn, you’re sick.” He insisted, wresting his hand from her chest, “You need rest-”

Her fingers tore at his shirt, holding him captive over her. 

“Don’t leave me.” She cried, her voice strangled and pitched with panic, “Chakotay, I’m begging you; I can’t take this-”

“Doctor!” Chakotay cried. 

The Doctor rushed to the bedside, wielding a hypospray. 

Chakotay clutched Kathryn’s jaw, tilting her head back as gently as possible. She thrashed against his grip, her nails catching on his throat and tearing open three long gashes. The Doctor pressed the hypospray to her neck, and diffused the sedative below her skin. She struggled for only a few moments longer before the sedative took effect. 

Chakotay was breathing in shallow, panicked bursts as she went limp in his arms. Tears pounded behind his eyelids, competing against the anger that rose hot in his chest. His gaze swung to Nomi, who lay prone on the bed beside Kathryn’s. 

His fever and delirium had passed while Kathryn’s was only beginning. 

“Can’t you do anything more for her?” He demanded of The Doctor. 

“I’ve done all I can, Commander.” The Doctor said, “I’m sorry, but there’s nothing else I can do. I’m afraid that soon even the sedative won’t work, and we’ll have to restrain her just like we did for Nomi.” 

“I won’t see her like this.” Chakotay said, rising from the bed. He paced across the sickbay, raking his hands through his hair. “I won’t let her suffer.” 

“I’ve already told you my solution.” The Doctor said. 

“She is in no position to be making that decision.” Chakotay shouting, spinning to thrust a finger at Kathryn’s sedated body, “Look at her! She doesn’t know what she’s doing.” 

The Doctor lowered his head against the brunt of Chakotay’s wrath. 

“I won’t make that choice for her.” Chakotay said, his voice lowering. 

The burst of anger was short-lived as defeat rose up to claim his chest. 

He spun and marched out of sickbay, a deep well of determination swelling inside him. He had to do something with this rage, this drive. He had to find a way to make her well again. 

He took the turbolift to Deck 8, and strode down the quiet corridors to Astrometrics. When he walked through the doors, he was surprised to see Seven still standing at the console. 

“Shouldn’t you be regenerating?” He asked. 

Seven cast a cool gaze over her shoulder, unperturbed. “I can go several days without regenerating if need be.” 

“Have you found anything?” He asked, joining her at the console. 

“I’ve uploaded all of Nomi’s star charts to the computer, and I am running an algorithm to sync his scans with our own. In the meantime, I am searching for any mention of these Naparre he mentioned in subspace transmissions.” 

“Good work.” Chakotay said, “Have you found out anymore information on the Naparre?” 

“As Nomi said, they are a band of nomadic creatures who travel this quadrant in search of high-value items to sell. To put it bluntly, thieves. It is difficult to find them, however, since they are not native to any planet, but rather a group of many species working together.” 

“How many ships are we talking about?” 

“It’s impossible to say, but I’ve read several transmissions stating that they have anywhere between ten and thirty ships.”

“We can’t seek out thirty different ships to find Nomi’s wife.” Chakotay said, “It would take far too long.” 

“That’s why I’ve given up searching for the ships and begun searching instead for the wife.” Seven replied. 

“What do you mean?” 

“If they do indeed plan on selling her, they must advertise it somewhere.” 

Chakotay shook his head in disgust. 

“I’ve created a buyer’s profile that I’m using to search for females of Nomi’s species, who I’ve discovered are called the Orelle.” 

“Good.” Chakotay said, “Thank you, Seven. This is impressive work.” 

Seven dipped her head in acknowledgement, and regarded his weary expression with an intuitive gaze. 

“Shouldn’t you be ‘regenerating’, Commander?” 

“I can’t sleep.” He said, “Too much to think about.” 

“You are of no use to the captain depleted of energy.” 

“I’m fine.” 

“You are … _ worried  _ about her.” 

Chakotay gave a clipped nod. “She’s the captain. As first officer, it’s my duty to protect her at all costs.” 

“Does that duty require you to stay awake for twenty hours without nutrition or rest?” 

“Are you kicking me out of Astrometrics?” He asked, offering a forced chuckle. 

“I am Borg.” Seven said, “I can operate proficiently for several days without regeneration, but you are human. You should go to your quarters, Commander. There is nothing else you can do here.” 

Chakotay ducked his head against the harsh truth. Seven was right, of course, but he didn’t know how he could sleep with the memory of Kathryn’s delirious fit burned into his memory. 

“All right.” He conceded, “But call me the moment you find anything.” 

“Of course.” 

“And send a report of all your findings so far to personal computer.” 

“Yes, sir.” 

“Thank you.” 

Chakotay departed Astrometrics, and took the nearest turbolift to his quarters. He was tempted to go the Bridge to check up on the nightshift, but he knew there would be nothing of interest to report aside from what Seven had already told him. 

While he prepared for bed, he burned a small dish of incense near the bed. It was meant to scatter nightmares and keep the dreamer safe in the world of slumber. At the moment, it was the only comfort he had that further danger would not befall this already treacherous situation while he slept. 

The pleasant, organic  scent had dispersed through the whole room by the time he crawled under the sheets.

He glanced over the report Seven had sent to his padd, but it didn’t provide much more detail than what she’d relayed in Astrometrics. With a weary sigh, he set the padd on the nightstand, and settled down against the pillow. 

Pressing his eyes shut, he tried to scatter the disturbing images of Kathryn from his mind. They haunted him for what seemed like an eternity before the exhaustion caught up to him, dragging him into the peaceful void of sleep. 

 

~

 

Kathryn woke with a jolt, her hands groping around her for a reminder of where she was. Sickbay was totally dark, with only the intermittent flash of monitors to distinguish the various corners of the room. 

Heat rolled down her body in waves, threatening to suffocate her. Desperate to ease the temperature, she kicked the sheets away and tugged the collar of the gown from her throat. The cool air dispersing from the vents did little to relieve the thick, damp heat that wrapped around her limbs and over her head. She was throbbing down to the marrow of her bones, every inch of skin screaming and crawling for satisfaction. When she shifted against the mattress, she felt warm, slick moisture gush from between her thighs. 

She sat up abruptly, her heart lurching into a sickened race. Clawing back the hem of the gown, she felt along her inner thighs with trembling fingers, and encountered slippery heat. Her panties clung to her, the fabric saturated in sweet, sharp smelling liquid. 

Her brain pounded with a single thought, the horror of her situation disappearing below the wave of need that engulfed her at the touch of her own hand. 

She could recall the foggy, feverish state of mind she’d been in hours earlier when Chakotay came to see her, but that frenzy had turned to knife-sharp clarity that touted a single goal. The primal urges that coursed through her body pierced the fever, thrusting her into a world of crystal clear sound, touch, and taste. Her adrenaline raced, leaving her jittery but alert, her limbs humming with newfound strength. 

She couldn’t recall telling herself to do so before she swung her legs over the edge of the bed, and planted her feet on the floor. She pushed off the mattress, half-expecting herself to fall as she had before. But her legs held, and she took a few tentative steps before realizing the power coursing through her veins. 

She glanced around sickbay in search of The Doctor, but he wasn’t anywhere to be found. She darted across the room, and huddled over the keypad to enter her security code. With an intruder in sickbay, security protocol’s were in place. She was relieved that she hadn’t been deemed a security risk yet, as her code opened the door without question. 

Kathryn stepped out into the hallway, blinking against the fluorescent lighting. Her eyes slowly adjusted to light as she made her way down the hallway, keeping one hand on the wall for support. Her whole body was trembling, and despite being able to walk, she didn’t trust her own two legs to get her where she needed to go. 

She made it down to the hall to the turbolift, and stumbled inside. Leaning heavily against the wall, she ordered the lift to the crew quarters deck. The whir of the turbolift passing each deck pounded in her ears, ticking off the seconds until she reached him. 

At last, the doors hissed open, and she thrust herself out into the hall. The corridor was deserted, lights dimmed for the illusion of nighttime. 

She crept down the hall, breathing hoarsely into the silence. Her hips cramped with every step, the need throbbing toward its pinnacle. Every inch of her felt stretched taut, ready to burst. The slightest brush of her thighs against each other sent a fresh wave of pulsating desire spearing through her middle. 

Dragging herself to his door, she leaned heavily against the doorjamb and entered her command code into the access panel. The doors opened to admit her into the dark room, warm and smelling of incense. 

She crossed the room to the bed, and stood over him, her body swaying against the magnetic pull of his presence. 

“Chakotay …” She whispered. 

The lump beneath the sheets shifted. 

More urgently this time, “Chakotay.” 

His hand emerged, tugging the sheets back from his head. His eyes crept open, blinking against the remnants of sleep to focus on her figure above him. 

“K-Kathryn?” 

Confusion and horror melded in the syllables of her name. 

He sat upright, his eyes open wide and alert now. 

“What are you doing?”

She gazed at him for a brief moment, her mind still present and in control enough to realize her healthy self would have found this course of action utterly incomprehensible. 

“Kathryn,” He repeated, “We have to get you back to sickbay.” 

He threw the sheets back, and began to rise. 

Grabbing him by the shoulder, she pushed him back down against the mattress. 

“No.” She whispered. 

He swallowed hard, his gaze reaching hers through the darkness, filled with concern and a hint of anticipation. 

She let her hands fall to her sides, and curled her fingers around the lower section of the hospital gown. His gaze fixated on her thighs as she pulled the gown up, bunching the fabric around her hips. 

She watched his eyes widen when he saw the moisture glistening on her inner thighs. 

“Oh, Kathryn …” He began, his voice strained with a plea. 

She dragged the gown up over her head, peeling the sweat-soaked fabric from her shoulders with a pleased sigh. Cool air whispered over her naked skin. Goosebumps cropped up along her arms and spine, and her sensitive, aching nipples puckered and hardened. 

Chakotay appeared paralyzed, his shoulders drawn, his mouth half-open in shock. 

She stepped closer, bringing one knee up onto the edge of the mattress. 

“Kathryn-” He choked out. 

His hand broke free of the paralysis to grasp her hip and pause her motion. 

“Don’t.” He whispered, his expression twisted with barely contained desire, “Please, don’t-”

“I need you to help me.” She said, laying her palm over his hand resting on her hip. 

“I can’t-”

“You can.” She insisted, “You will.”

“You don’t know what you’re doing. You’re sick, delirious.”

“I haven’t been thinking this clearly since Nomi attacked me.” She said, “I know what I’m doing, Chakotay. I’m lucid, I’m in control. Now, please, don’t ask me to leave. I need this.”

He swallowed convulsively, his gaze traveling up down her naked body before settling on her face again. 

“If you know what you’re doing, can you tell me … Will you regret this when you’re not sick anymore?” 

She hesitated a moment before answering. 

“No. I’ll know that we both did what we had to in order to save my life.” 

His gaze hung desperately onto hers, searching for some lie or distortion in her eyes. 

She dragged his hand from her hip to her crotch, pressing his fingers in place before letting go. His hand stayed in place, his fingers curling into a fist around the elastic band of her panties. 

She tilted her head back, breathing out a steadying sigh. This blinding, fiery desire consuming her threatened to push her over the edge. She didn’t want to wait for him to make up his mind, but she knew if she pushed him, he might drag her back to sickbay, over his shoulder if he had to. 

Agonizing moments later, she felt his grip tighten, and the fabric collapse to his pull. The soaked garment peeled back from her aching, dripping flesh, clinging around her thighs stubbornly before succumbing to gravity. She kicked the panties away, and crawled onto the bed in front of him.

His palms settled on her hips, dragging her to his chest. She gasped softly as her pelvis nudged against his chest, the minor impact rippling like a shockwave through her sensitized body. 

He dragged her down by the nape, and joined their lips in slow, deliberate kiss. She threw her arms around his neck, moaning into his mouth as the taste of his lips invaded her senses. Her body sang, light and warmth rushing to fill her chest. She had never felt such exquisite pleasure at a simple kiss, never realized the orgasmic nature of hands kneading her backside. 

He lifted her from her knees, and swung her down against the sheets. She splayed her legs open wide as the weight of his body settled over top her. His hand sought out the swell of her breast, thumb dragging at the tender peak of her nipple and eliciting a sharp gasp from her throat. She bit at his lower lip, urging him to be anything but delicate. 

Chakotay severed the kiss, and gazed down out at her with urgent eyes. 

“You’re weak.” He murmured, “I don’t want to hurt you.” 

“You won’t.” She panted, rolling her hips up against the lean stretch of his thigh, “Please, I want you to be rough.” 

“That’s the fever talking.” 

“I know.” She moaned, “I don’t care, I just need it.” 

She reached up to clutch at his face, but her caught her wrists. Pinning her arms above her head, he bent to kiss her mouth softly. She groaned, bucking under his weight for harsher contact. Lambastic need clawed through her chest, punishing her aching body with every second that stretched on without satisfaction. 

Chakotay’s mouth slid from hers, trailing hot breaths across her cheek and earlobe. The pressure of his hips on top of hers lifted, giving her legs mobility. 

“Spread your legs.” He whispered. 

She bit back a whimper as the low timbre of his voice all but launched her into climax. She stretched her legs open, her body clenching and aching in response. Her gaze desperately sought out his, searching for the next command. 

She was at his mercy now; she would have done anything, but he was focused solely on pleasuring her. 

His palm slid down her trembling belly and between her hips, pausing for a torturous moment before easing down over the ridge of her pubic bone. His fingers dipped into slick, gushing wetness, dragging a hoarse gasp from her throat with the slightest friction against her labia. 

“Oh God!” 

She lurched against his hold, her body arching away from the burning stroke of his fingers against her aching flesh. His fingers followed, swirling gently against her until her labia parted and arousal flowed freely from her. She could feel it dripping from her as his fingertips encroached on her swollen, throbbing clitoris. 

“Oh, Jesus … oh, oh, oh …” She panted, every breath and gasp rushing uncontrollably to her lips. 

He was touching her so softly it could hardly qualify as friction, but her body was clinging to the verge of pleasure, so sensitized by fever and primordial need that the smallest stimulation could send her freefalling into pleasure. 

Chakotay’s mouth and nose pressed into her hair, breathing hard against her scalp as he touched her. He was shaking against her, breathing out low curses with every gush her body surrendered to him. His fingers gripped tight around her wrists, holding her to the bed while she bucked and twisted away from the agonizing pleasure. 

With hardly another moment of racing, torturous need, Kathryn stiffened against him. All the fevered desperation and maddening torture in the sickbay was fulfilled in that moment of absolute, staggering pleasure that followed. White flashed across her vision as the pleasure crested inside her, bearing down with all the force of a tsunami on her trembling, weakened body. She thrust into the stroke of his hand, losing all control over her body to the deep, hard spasms that rose from the very core of her. Pleasure scorched through her, touching and inflaming every inch before the blaze finally began to die.  Thin, hoarse cries bubbled from her lips even after the pleasure abated, and she was curling against Chakotay’s chest in relief. 

His fingers eased from between her legs, and shifted to her hip to pull her against him. He cradled her against his chest, fingers stroking loosely through her hair. 

Relief cooled the incessant, burning heat that had clung to her for the past three days, but the need was far from satisfied. 

She lifted her head from Chakotay’s chest to find his gaze in the darkness. 

“Thank you.” She murmured. 

He kissed her passionately in response, his mouth pressing devotion into her skin. In a way, it felt like an apology. 

She pushed him back against the sheets, and threw her leg over his hips. 

“Kathryn,” He whimpered as she groped his cock through his trousers. 

She bent to kiss him, stemming any further objection. He lurched against her as she tugged the trousers and boxers from around his hips, freeing the hard, throbbing length of his cock. He wanted her just as badly as she did, no matter the moral dilemma he was facing. 

With the trousers tangled around his thighs, she mounted his hips. The kiss broke as she straightened, guiding his cock to her dripping entrance, and he moaned aloud in a beautiful, strangled voice. She bit her lower lip as she sank down on his cock. Her body screamed it’s pleasure as he stretched her, fitting inside her to the hilt. 

“Kathryn.” He moaned, grabbing at her hips. 

She braced herself above him, rolling her hips in a tight circle. She could feel the dull pressure of him low in her belly, the pang of pleasure at his length. 

One hand squeezed her hip while the other groped at her breast. His eyes were half-lidded with pleasure, lower lip trapped below his teeth in an expression of utter bliss.

She rocked against him, searching for satisfaction in the friction. The thrust of her hips came hard and desperate, smacking their bodies together a demanding pace that might have extinguished her strength before; but whatever Nomi’s race experienced during this time had been transferred to her, and she was hungry to depth of her soul. There was no end in sight to this burning, aching need, no bottom to this well of desire and this urge to find it. She chased after that euphoric pleasure that she had experienced at climax, but even as their bodies smacked together at a punishing pace, the torturous thirst did not subside. 

“Kathryn, Kathryn …” 

Chakotay’s voice broke through her focus, and she found him sitting up and gathering her against his chest. 

“No, no, don’t stop.” She panted, thrusting the heels of her hands into his chest with bruising force, “I need this.” 

“I know.” He whispered, kissing her cheek and earlobe. “Let me.” 

She sank against him, gasping in delirious need. 

He lifted her from his lap, and laid her down at the middle of the bed. Snatching one of the pillows from the top of the bed, he pushed it under her backside, tilting her hips up to meet his cock. Kneeling between her legs, he guided her ankles up over his shoulders. As he bent closer, her legs stretched to accommodate, dragging a whimper from throat. She clutched at the sheets as his cockhead brushed against her, gliding through the copious arousal dripping from her. The slightest pressure against her clit sent a shudder rippling through her. She tightened and ached, pleasure hedging along the corners of her mind. 

“Please ..” She panted, grabbing at his hips to pull him closer. 

He resisted the pull of her hands, and primed her aching clitoris with several more strokes of his cock before allowing himself to breach her. His cock slid into her slowly, burning every inch into her memory until his hips were seated against her backside. 

Kathryn gasped, and reached up to claw at his chest. 

“Yes, yes …” She breathed. 

He gave a shallow thrust that sent pleasure ricocheting through every square inch of her body. His cockhead rutted against the deepest part of her, leaving her breathless and moaning at each exquisite volley of friction.

She lifted her wide-eyed gaze to his. In the darkness, she could barely make out his features but she knew him too well for shadows to obscure the look of primal need in his eyes. 

_ You have me pinned down and helpless. Now ruin me.  _

She pressed the aching thought through her gaze, and watched it set a fire inside him. 

His fingers delved under the back of her skull, curling through the hair at her nape and dragging her neck open. She gasped as his hips came down hard against her, sending shockwaves rippling through. With his fingers in her hair and her ankles over his shoulders, there was no wiggle room to lessen the impact - and she didn’t want it. 

She threw her head back, sobbing in pleasure as he fucked into her. Every thrust ignited waves of burning pleasure through her overwrought body, devastating the last of her sanity and restraint. Perspiration and tears saturated her temples, but the pleasure that swelled inside her was better than anything she’d ever felt. There was no pain, only the frustration and weight of need that had clutched her for the past three days leaving her body. 

And when she felt him trembling and unwinding against her, she rode the wave of pleasure with him, the spasms coming from a much deeper, brighter place than even the first. They spasmed and trembled and moaned as one, the borders of their bodies fading and melting into one another as an undiscovered world opened it’s door to their trembling touch. Beyond was light, color, warmth, and pleasure, and she could no longer recall the pain that had come before. 


	3. Chapter 3

“Tuvok to Commander Chakotay … Commander, please come in.”

The sound of Tuvok’s urgent tone reached from the combadge to jostle Chakotay from his slumber. As his mind crawled from the dark cocoon of sleep, Tuvok’s voice grew louder, clearer. 

“Tuvok to Commander Chakotay.”

Chakotay’s eyes flew open.

The bedroom was dark, and the smell of incense still hung in the air. His legs were tangled up in the sheets, binding him to the warm, soft body curled up against his chest. He reached over her for the combadge, silencing the incoming transmission with a jab of his thumb. 

“I’m here.” 

“Commander, there is an urgent situation that I think you should know about.” 

Chakotay glanced down at Kathryn’s naked body tucked perfectly against his own. He curled his fingers around the combadge, delaying the inevitable as he gathered his scattered thoughts. 

He opened his palm. 

“What is it?”  

“It’s the captain.” Tuvok said, “She’s gone from sickbay. We’re conducting deck-wide searches, but we have not found her.”

Chakotay’s first instinct was to play ignorant. The last thing he wanted was Tuvok, nay the whole ship, knowing what had occurred last night; but he knew this was not a secret he could keep indefinitely. He would have to notify The Doctor, as it pertained directly to Kathryn’s health. 

“Tuvok, I need you to report to my office.” Chakotay said.

“Commander, the situation with the captain is urgent. She’s ill.”

“It’s about Captain Janeway … Tell your officers to stand down the search.” 

“She is with you?” 

“Yes, she’s safe.” 

Silence fell over the line for a moment before Tuvok agreed, “Aye, sir.” 

Chakotay put the combadge back on the nightstand with a weary sigh. He glanced down at Kathryn, who was unperturbed by Tuvok’s startling wake-up call. 

He couldn’t imagine how exhausted she must be after three days of agony. He didn’t want to wake her, but the fantasy was over. Reality still existed outside the cocoon of his quarters. 

He smoothed a lock of hair behind her ear, and bent to press a kiss to her cheek. Her skin was warm, but no longer feverish as it had been the night before. She stirred against him, hips arching back against the cradle of his body.

“Kathryn.” He whispered, stroking her shoulder. 

Her head tilted toward the sound of his voice. Her lips parted, breathing in deep and exhaling a soft moan. She reached for his face, fingers languid against his chin. 

“Chakotay.” She murmured. 

He planted a brief kiss on her mouth, and whispered, “It’s morning.” 

Her eyes jarred open. 

“What time is it?” She gasped. 

“0730.”

“Oh, no. I have to get up. The Doctor has to have realized-”

“It’s okay, don’t worry.” Chakotay said, “I just spoke to Tuvok. I’m going to my office to speak with him.” 

She caught onto Chakotay’s wrist as he sat up and threw the sheets back. 

“What are you going to tell him?” 

“The way I see it, we only have two options.” Chakotay said, “Lie or tell the truth.”

She clasped her hands over her forehead, and blew out a heavy sigh. 

Chakotay released his own exhale. Rolling back across the bed, he pried her hands gently from her forehead, and pressed a kiss in a their place. 

“How do you feel?” He whispered. 

Her eyelashes fluttered, a pale blush rising to her cheeks. “Good.” She murmured. 

“No fever?”

She shook her head. “No pain.”

He leaned back to meet her gaze. Her eyes were clear and lucid, the color of a cold, endless ocean. Still waters ran deep; behind that collected gaze was a storm of emotion he knew she was determined to process on her own. 

“Kathryn-” He began. 

She pressed her fingers to his mouth, stemming the apology before it could form. 

“No.” She whispered, firmly, “Don’t say it. I came here of my own volition, I asked you - I  _ demanded. _ ”

“I didn’t try very hard to stop you.” 

“You did your duty.” She said, “That’s all I would have asked if our positions had been switched.”

He nodded, resigned for the moment but hardly assuaged. 

“You should go.” She whispered. 

He kissed her tentatively against the corner of the mouth, but she turned her lips fully into the gesture. He let his lips linger over hers, reluctant to leave her embrace and face reality. 

When he left the bed, his body twinged in protest. He crept to the bathroom, and turned on the sonic shower to maximum power. Sinking against the wall, he closed his eyes to momentarily relive the previous night. 

Each moment was branded in his mind, the details of her skin, her scent, her moans available at his slightest recollection. The first few hours had been desperate, reckless, their skin bruised and red with the force of need, but as the night deepened, the urgency of her heat had tapered off.  They drifted to sleep entwined, only to be woken shortly thereafter with her trembling, fevered body pressing up against him, reigniting a fresh pattern of heavy kissing, stroking, and finally climax. His body could only give so much, but in her heightened state, she came over and over against his tongue and fingers, soaking the sheets with her wetness. When he was hard and ready, sliding into her tight, gushing body was a sensation that couldn’t be matched. 

He’d never had a night like that one; and he doubted he ever would again. 

Chakotay finished in the bathroom, and put on his uniform in front of the mirror. He combed his hair back, but decided to forgo shaving. Tuvok had probably already been in his office for ten minutes now. 

When he stepped back into the bedroom, Kathryn sat up from the pillows. 

“Chakotay.” 

He paused at the door to acknowledge her anxious tone. 

“Don’t lie.” She said, her jaw clenching with the command. 

“Are you sure?” 

“The rest of the crew knows that I’m sick, but Tuvok knows the nature of the illness.” She said, “He’s my friend, and I don’t want to lie to him.” 

Chakotay dipped his head. “Very well.” 

He turned to leave, but her voice drew him back again. “Chakotay?” 

“Yes?” 

She leaned forward, her arms winding around her middle. Her blue eyes were wide and warm with trembling emotion. 

“Thank you.” She said, hoarsely. 

He nodded, offering a taut smile. Then he left his quarters before her eyes could convince him to stay. 

 

~

 

The Doctor was apologizing profusely the moment Chakotay set one foot inside sickbay. 

“I left the sickbay for ten minutes. Ten minutes! I swear, I was not being neglectful, Commander!”

“Doctor, it’s fine.” Chakotay said, holding up a hand, “Now, will you please come with me to my office.” 

“Your office?”

“Tuvok is meeting us there.” 

“A meeting?” The Doctor asked, “With the security officer? Am I in worse trouble than I thought?” 

“You’re not in trouble. I need to fill both of you in on a development that I’d like to keep private.” 

Chakotay’s hands went to his hips defensively as The Doctor’s eyes widened intuitively. 

“I … I-” The Doctor stammered uncomfortably for a moment before clearing his throat. “Yes, of course, I’ll come with you right away.” 

They took the hall down to the turbolift in silence. Inside the elevator, Chakotay could practically feel The Doctor’s eyes on him, which was entirely preposterous considering he was nothing both photons and holo-imaging. 

“I’d like to keep this professional.” Chakotay said, snapping a gaze over his shoulder, “Do you think you can manage?” 

“I’m the most professional hologram I know.” 

“Good. When this is all said and done, feel free to say ‘I told you so’, but for right now, I’m still in charge of this ship.”

“Aye, aye, sir.” The Doctor muttered. 

When they reached Chakotay’s office, Tuvok was already waiting for them. 

“Apologies for our lateness.” Chakotay said, noting the irritated raise of Tuvok’s eyebrow. 

“Granted.” Tuvok said. 

Chakotay waved at the chairs in front of his desk, “Gentlemen.” 

He took his time situating himself in his chair while Tuvok and The Doctor occupied the ones across from him. Folding his hands on the desk, he cleared his throat. 

“Tuvok, the captain informed me that you are up to date on the situation.” 

“I am.” Tuvok said, “Nomi was deemed a security risk when he first arrived, and I was briefed on the nature of his illness.”

“Then you know Captain Janeway was suffering from the same condition.” 

Tuvok nodded. 

“She’s given me permission to tell you this …” Chakotay said. He fought to maintain eye contact with the two men, but it was Tuvok’s cool, if not exasperated expression that finally sent his gaze fleeing to his lap. 

“Doctor, you said the only cure was to go through with the mating process.” He said, closing his eyes against the uncomfortable heat reaching up his throat and cheeks. “You were right.” 

Silence settled over the office. 

He would have rather sunk through the floor and disappeared, but as he’d stated, he was still in command. A commanding officer didn’t hide, no matter how difficult - or embarrassing - the situation might be. He coerced his gaze up to meet Tuvok’s and The Doctor’s. 

The Doctor gave him an encouraging smile, and Chakotay half-expected him to offer a congratulatory handshake. 

Tuvok, on the other hand, was gazing at him with the same irritating aplomb he always doled out in prickly situations. 

“The important thing to remember here is that she’s fine now.” Chakotay said, “She’s back in good health, and no longer under the threat of dying. I’d like The Doctor to do a complete exam to verify that, but I think we’ll all agree she’s back to being Captain Janeway.” 

“Would you like to prepare a statement for the crew?” Tuvok asked.

“I think announcing that she’s recovered will do.” Chakotay said, “That’s enough detail.”

Tuvok nodded. 

“Doctor, I have work to catch up on.” Chakotay said, “If you would please go to my quarters and escort the captain to sickbay …”

“Of course. It would be my pleasure.” 

The Doctor rose from his chair, and left the office, stranding Chakotay with Tuvok. 

Chakotay cleared his throat, “Like I said, I have a lot of work to do, Tuvok-”

“Commander.” Tuvok said, rising from his chair, “I sense that you are, perhaps, ashamed of what has occurred.” 

“Tuvok, please. I’d rather not-”

“On Vulcan, mating rituals are shrouded in mystery and religion.” Tuvok said, “It is not spoken of until the Vulcan children have reached the  _ pon farr  _ age. It is whispered of between children because their parents will not discuss it with them.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Chakotay asked. 

“Because, my race may be logical and evolved, but we have not yet realized the beauty in this natural, and integral part of life, for which there is nothing to be ashamed of.” 

Chakotay swallowed thickly, rendered mute by Tuvok’s unexpected commiseration. 

“We have not served together long.” Tuvok continued, “And, at first, our separate loyalties to Starfleet and the Maquis caused strain between us. But I have come to see the qualities in you that Captain Janeway so admires. There’s no one else on this ship who could have served her better in this matter. As her friend, I thank you.” 

Shocked, Chakotay struggled to reply, “Tuvok, I … I don’t know what to say-”

“You’ve said all that needs to be said. And now, your duties?”

“Ah, right.” 

Chakotay watched agape as the rigid, Vulcan facade slipped back over Tuvok’s face. He rose from his chair with the urge to say something more, but Tuvok had already turned and left the office, as if he’d done nothing more than deliver a report. 

 

~

 

After Chakotay left, Kathryn gathered her strength, and got up to shower. When the sonic shower had stripped away the sweat and release of the previous night, she wandered back into the bedroom to order coffee from the replicator. 

The warm, comforting smell of the coffee relaxed her even before she took a sip. Cradling the cup in her hands, she moved cautiously through the bedroom, noting the small, personal touches, and quiet energy of Chakotay’s lingering presence. He had real, physical books on his shelves just like she did. Decorations were few, clutter nonexistent. While there was distinct, subtle pride in his culture, there were no photographs or mementos of home or loved ones. 

As she looked over his scarce belongings, warding off the sense of being an intruder, she realized just how little their personal and professional lives had overlapped in the last several years. They knew each other so well, yet there were things that remained in shadow. 

She was honest enough with herself to know she’d been attracted to him from the start, but cracking through his exterior shell to this moment had taken some doing. In those first few months, she’d learned more about him from Starfleet data banks than from their interactions. But he was so passionate and breath-taking in the moment that she hadn’t really given a damn about the past, or even the future - just the next few seconds when his fingers were brushing against her lower back, and his gaze was focused on her. 

Last night had changed all that. She had to worry about their future now because she’d done something irreversible. She had thrust herself into his personal space; she’d made him responsible for her. She had crossed the line by a couple thousands miles. 

By the time The Doctor arrived, she had replicated herself a new uniform, and was dressing before the mirror. The door chimed, and she called him in. 

“Commander Chakotay asked that I escort you back to sickbay.” 

“Of course, we need to take every precaution that the symptoms have abated completely.” Kathryn said. 

She eyed herself in the mirror, tugging at the collar of her shirt where the pips noted her status. 

_ Captain.  _

She couldn’t match herself to the title while she was still in this room, surrounded by last night’s feverish memories. 

“I’d like to keep you in for observation another day longer.” The Doctor said, hesitantly, “But I can see you’re ready to get back to the Bridge.”

“I don’t want to delay my return any longer than necessary.” 

“Well, let’s get this over with then.” 

Kathryn drew in a deep breath.  _ That’s all I want.  _

Turning from the mirror, she crossed the room to where The Doctor waited for her. They exited the bedroom together, and fell into step down the hallway. 

“I’m sure you have many … technical questions.” She said, locking her hands behind her back. 

“This isn’t exactly something I’m beholden to study in depth.” The Doctor replied, “The basics will suffice in this case, Captain.”

“What about Nomi? Perhaps something from my case can help us find a cure for him.”

“I’m afraid the conclusion of your case won’t help him unless we find his wife.”

“Regardless, I’d like you to run as many tests and take as many scans as need be.” She said, “If I have the answers to save a man’s life, I’m willing to sacrifice a bit of my dignity.” 

“I’ll do my best to keep your dignity intact.”

The Doctor waved her into the turbolift ahead of him, and she nodded her thanks. 

The doors closed behind them, trapping the discomfort in tight around Kathryn’s shoulders. 

“How is Nomi?” She asked. 

“His symptoms haven’t improved.” The Doctor said, “I put him in a coma, and it seems to have paused the progression for the moment. But I have no way of knowing if this illness will pass or if it can be lethal.” 

“Let’s hope for his sake it’s the first.” 

The turbolift came to a stop, and the doors slid open. As they made their way down the hall to sickbay, they passed a group of ensigns who brightened at the sight of her. 

“Captain, glad to see you’re feeling better.” One girl said, smiling. 

“Thank you, ensigns.” 

sickbay was quiet, the lights still dimmed despite Nomi’s unconscious state. Kathryn squared her shoulders against a shiver as she glimpsed the bed where she had tossed and turned for two days of agony.

“I”ll get my tools.” The Doctor said. 

Kathryn pulled herself up onto the edge of the exam bed, and clasped her hands tightly in her lap while she waited. 

The hiss and beep of monitors encroached on the void of her thoughts. She was strangely absent of feeling, as if she’d felt all she could in the last few days. 

Even in her delirium, she had clung onto a vague sense of control; and in those interludes of clarity, when the fever eased for those brief moments following climax, she had expected herself to regret her decision. She had at least expected shame at her conduct. She’d broken every moral protocol Starfleet expected of a captain; but even those values she held so dear couldn’t dull the satisfaction still flowing through her. 

She was like a wilted flower, drained of life. She wanted to sleep. She wanted the cradle of his arms, protecting her, caring for her, soothing away her worries and responsibilities. 

“I’m ready if you are.” 

Kathryn drew in a sharp breath as The Doctor’s voice slashed through her reverie. She looked up to see him hovering a few feet away with a tray holding his medical tools. 

“I’m ready.” She said. 

The Doctor took several in-depth scans, drew a blood sample, and performed a brief physical examination. She didn’t mind being poked and prodded; The Doctor was ever the gentlest, most respectful doctor to treat her. 

When he was done, he stood back with a smile. 

“Well, I don’t see any reason why you can’t go back to your regular activities and duties.” He said, “I see nothing physically that presents a threat to you any longer.”

“Thank you, Doctor.”

“If you have even the slightest symptom, please come back to sickbay straightaway. We still know very little about this alien’s mating cycle. There’s still the possibility that it could flare up again.”

Kathryn nodded, shuddering at the thought of reliving the last few days of agony all over again. 

“And please, go to the mess hall as soon as you can and eat a proper meal. Intravenous nutrition and fluids only go so far.” 

“I will. Thank you for everything, Doctor.”

“Anything for you, Captain.” 

She slid down off the exam table, and left the sickbay in a daze. The effects of the heat may have become unnoticeable to a medical tricorder, but her mind was still moving in slow motion. She felt as if she were stumbling through a fog, hands desperately searching in front of her for the way out. Not for the first time, she wondered if this experience was all a part of some strange nightmare. Last night had been entirely real though, and there was no easy escape from the consequences. 

Giving her head a shake and lifting her shoulders, she headed for Chakotay’s office. Best to face things head on before they had time to stagnate and sour. 

When she arrived at his door, she hesitated for several moments before ringing. 

The doors slid open, and she crept across the threshold with her hands clenched in front of her. 

Chakotay leaned over the desk, reviewing several padds with a deep frown. His eyes widened in surprise when he looked up to see her entering.

“Kathryn.”

“The Doctor released me.” She said, “He thinks I’m going to be fine.”

He nodded, a smile ghosting across his lips. “Good.”

Kathryn swallowed hard, searching for the best angle to approach the conversation from. 

“Chakotay-”

She took a halting step toward the desk, propelled by the same hypnotic energy that had drawn her to him the night before. Everything about him was achingly attractive to her, from shape of his mouth, to the set of his shoulders, and the loose position of his hands around the padd. She wanted to push herself into his lap and drown in his everything all over again. 

“We have to … confront this.” She whispered. 

His eyes darted away from hers for a moment before coming back up, dark and guarded. 

“Yes, we should.” He said. “How much do you remember?”

“All of it.” She said, her throat clutching around the words. 

He nodded, his nostrils flaring. 

“I won’t lie and say the fever made me do it.” She said, “I was in control, just like I said. I could have … stopped myself, but-”

“I wouldn’t have wanted you to.”

They both stopped, staring across the desk at each other with the same intensity the previous evening had provided. 

“You said-”

“I know what I said. And morally, ethically, the answer should be clear.” He said, “I don’t think you were in the right frame of mind to give your consent, and I should have been the responsible one. But …”

She watched his mouth struggle to form words, knowing that inside, he was blaming himself. 

“When the fever struck, you were the only thing I could think about … the only thing that eased the pain. I knew you would take care of me.” She said, “You always do.”

“You don’t need me to take care of you.” He said, “I know you’re just saying that to make me feel better.”

“No, it’s true.” She said, “I admit, I sometimes don’t know when to stop, but you’re always there, pulling me out of danger if need be. This wasn’t any different-”

“Except that it was.” 

Kathryn lowered her gaze. She locked her shoulders against the blow of his words. He was right, of course; he always was. 

“What if this hadn’t happened?” He asked, quietly, “Would you have ever made a move?”

His questioning gaze sought out hers, and she hesitantly lifted her head. The wash of dread down her spine at his remark was the first taste of shame she’d felt since waking up this morning. 

“It’s not part of my role as captain to become romantically entwined with a subordinate.” Kathryn said, “And I’ve always felt that I should uphold Starfleet protocol even if we are out here in the Delta Quadrant.” 

“And now?” 

She lifted her chin against the undercurrent of hurt in his tone. 

“I know I’ve done something irreversible.” She said, her voice floundering for strength, “I place the responsibility of it entirely on my shoulders.”

“I don’t regret what happened, Kathryn.” He said, “But we have to consider the future.”

“I am considering it.”

“As a captain?” He asked, “Or as a woman?”

“As myself. As the person I have look at in the mirror every day. As the woman who asked the impossible of you - to choose between rank and protocol, or my death. There was no right answer in the matter. I realize that.”

He gazed at her quietly, and she searched his face for the truth. 

He hid the deepest, most vulnerable parts of himself so well. There was a tapestry of strength and contentment over every wound on his soul, a smile to hide the cracks, a reason to keep going on top of despair. She could have hurt him far worse than she imagined and she might never let her know. 

“Chakotay,” She whispered, “I’m terribly sorry I asked this of you.”

His eyes sank toward the desk, escaping her hopeful, misty gaze. 

“You must feel used.” She pressed on despite his reticence. “Maybe even betrayed. You don’t know how deeply it hurts me that I’m the one responsible for it.”

“I don’t feel betrayed.” He said, meeting her gaze once more. “Confused, maybe.”

“Confused?” 

“I have a lot of questions. Ones that you might not have the answers to yet.” 

“Such as?” 

“Maybe we should discuss this more when you’re completely healthy again, and not so close to the situation.” 

“No.” She said, firmly, stabbing a finger at the desk, “I came here because I want to clear the air between us right now. You can be as honest with me as you need to be, Chakotay. I won’t try to hide from this.” 

He let out a sigh, his jaw clenching. She could see the thoughts turning and building behind his eyes. 

“If you want me to be honest, the truth is-” 

Kathryn’s hands clutched together in a white-knuckled grip as she waited for him to articulate. 

“I didn’t want it to happen the way it did last night.” He said, shooting her a dark, searing gaze. “I wanted it to be be a mutual, happy agreement, not the result of a life-or-death situation. We’re never going to get that chance back … And I’m afraid that you’ll never want it.” 

“What … what do you mean?” 

“You said it. You’re the captain.” He said, waving a hand toward her uniform, “Romance is off the table for you. If last night is the only chance I get to kiss you … to touch you - I don’t know if I can live with it. But I’ll have to because there’s nowhere else to go.”

Kathryn shook her head. “Chakotay, no.”

His eyes narrowed in confusion. “No?”

“I can’t believe you think I would do that to you.” 

“Well, are you?” 

The question lingered in the air between them, impacting through her chest like a tidal wave. She hadn’t yet asked herself that question, but she already knew the answer. It had been branded on her mind the moment his mouth touched hers. 

“All I know is that when I was lying in sickbay, thinking I was going to die, your face was the only one that I could focus on. You were the one I went to, without question. I didn’t even consider anyone else, or another alternative. I went to you because I knew that you would take care of me, because I know that you … that you love me.” 

His eyes shifted wider, as if she had pulled back the curtain from a well-kept secret. 

“You do …” She whispered, swallowing hard. “Don’t you?” 

He rose from his chair, his movements slow and precise. She gripped the edge of the desk, her knees weakening as he circled the desk. He closed the gap between them with a few decisive strides, and took her by the hips. Pulling her around to face him, he cradled her cheek, and bent to press his forehead against hers. 

“Oh, Kathryn,” He whispered, “I’ve loved you from the day I met you.” 

She let out a breathe, half a strangled sigh of relief, half a laugh of disbelief at her good fortune. She didn’t deserve him, not in the slightest. 

It didn’t matter. 

His arms were already securely around her waist, his mouth bearing down soft but adamant against hers. He tasted exquisite; and warm, and safe, and gentle and all the things she had thought were part of a dream last night. 

This time there was no heat, no fog clouding her brain. These feelings weren’t a part of some primal instinct beyond her control. She was grounded and lucid, awake inside this pulsing sensation of light and joy. 

“Seven to Chakotay.” 

Seven’s voice reached from between their chests, intruding on their quiet epiphany with stoic urgency. 

The kiss broke, and they both leaned back, breathing shallow and rapid against each other’s cheeks. 

Chakotay swallowed thickly, and reached for the combadge. 

“Chakotay here.” 

“Commander, report to Astrometrics.” Seven said, “I believe I have found the ship carrying the alien’s wife.” 

Chakotay’s gaze didn’t break from Kathryn’s despite the pressing news. 

“I’ll be right there.” He said. 

He tapped the badge, cutting off the communication before Seven could respond. 

“I should go to the Bridge.” Kathryn said. 

His hands slid reluctantly from her waist, and she took a weak step back against the desk. Steadying herself with one hand, she lifted her chin and smoothed her hand down the front of her jacket. 

“I’ll send up course headings as soon as I get them.” He said. 

“Good.” 

A smile crept across his mouth. He leaned forward, pressing a brief kiss to her mouth before turning and marching out of the office. 

Kathryn leaned against the desk for a moment longer, dazed by the kiss and his declaration of love. She’d spent so much time dreaming about these moments, never expecting them to all come true, in a matter of hours no less. Maybe she was still dreaming. 

Kathryn shook her head. 

At this very moment, a man was lying in sickbay on the verge of dying. She didn’t have the luxury of daydreaming about absconding with her first officer. Her personal life would have to wait; right now, she had to be captain again. 


	4. Chapter 4

 

“Captain on the bridge.”

Tuvok’s announcement brought the entire bridge crew scrambling to their feet the moment Kathryn stepped out of the turbo lift. 

“At ease.” She said, biting back a smile. “Thank you, Tuvok.” 

“I’m pleased to see you’ve made a quick recovery.” 

“As am I.” 

Kathryn touched his arm as she made her way to the command chair. Everyone had taken their seats again, but Harry was barely maintaining his smile and Tom kept glancing over his shoulder at her. 

“Didn’t think you could get rid of me that easily, did you?” She quipped, coming to stand just behind the con. 

“No, ma’am.” Tom said. 

“Captain, “Harry said, “I’ve just received course headings from Astrometrics.” 

“Relay them to helm control.” Kathryn said, “Tom, adjust course.” 

“Aye, Captain.” 

“Warp 8, Mr Paris. A man’s life is at stake.” 

“Warp 8.” Tom affirmed. 

Kathryn took her seat in the captain’s chair, moderating the loud sigh of relief lunging at the back of her throat. Her hands settled over the smooth leather of the arm rests where her touch had left battleworn indentions. The past few days had tested her to her limits, but the danger that lay ahead was a brand she could handle with ease. It was good to be back.

Chakotay came up from Astrometrics several minutes later, and took the seat next to her. 

“Seven estimates we’ll rendezvous with them in about eight hours.” He said, “That should give us enough time to come up with a plan.” 

“Have you gotten anymore details on these Naparre?” 

“They’re traders.” Chakotay said, “They steal items of value from anyone they come across, and sell it to the highest bidder. They’re ready and prepared to defend themselves. They have the resources and talents of a dozen different species, and they won’t hesitate to attack if threatened. I think the best way to achieve a low casualty outcome would be to make the trade.” 

“For human life?” Kathryn said, disgust darkening her tone, “In a way, it would be like contributing to their cause.” 

“Not if it meant getting Myrnah out of there, and not risking damage to  _ Voyager  _ and the crew.” 

“Still, I’m not inclined to give anything away to these people freely.” 

“Seven was only able to locate them because she contacted them as a buyer.” Chakotay said, “They’re expecting some type of payment.” 

“I didn’t endorse her doing that.” 

“But I did.” 

Kathryn narrowed her eyes at him, both frustrated and confounded. At times, Chakotay’s morals were stronger than her own; other times, his choices went against everything she believed in. They’d had more than one argument over moral grounds, one which had taken place in his quarters just the night before. Somehow, she had a feeling he wasn’t going to back down as easily as he had when she was standing over his bed. 

“Do you really want to start a gunfight?” Chakotay pressed, “They have more ships, sophisticated weapons. We might not stand a chance.” 

“What about a co-op?” Kathryn asked, “We could continue the charade of Seven being a buyer while we beam an away team over. While Seven distracts them, we could get Myrnah and jump to warp before they have a chance to react.” 

“That leaves a lot to chance. There could be a lot of unknown variables on that ship that we don’t know about.” 

“If I ask you to lead the team, will you refuse?” 

He let out a sigh, and dragged a hand over his jaw. 

“I could send Tuvok, but we might need him if there is a gunfight. You’re the second best tactical officer I could put on the ground.” She said, “But I don’t want you to go if you don’t feel confident you can complete the mission.” 

“I don’t question my ability to complete the mission. I question the mission’s necessity.”

Kathryn rose from the chair, and cocked her head, “Ready room.” 

She caught a glimpse of his terse expression before she spun, and marched across the bridge. Entering the ready room, she crossed her arms and waited for him to join her. 

He stepped across the threshold, his hands locked behind his back. The doors slid shut, ensuring their privacy. 

They held each other’s gazes for a tense moment before Chakotay spoke. 

“I appreciate which direction your moral compass is spinning in right now, but we already have two people’s lives at stake.” He said, “Do you really want to add this entire crew to that compliment?” 

“I know the stakes, Chakotay. I also know that our actions here today contribute to the future of these people’s success. We have a chance here to do the right thing.” 

“And what is the right thing?” 

“Not giving these people anything that would further their cause. There’s nothing on this ship that I would be willing to give them, no benign offering that would justify completing a business transaction with reprehensible people.” 

“I agree, they are horrible people.” Chakotay said, “But we never would have known they existed if we hadn’t come across Nomi.” 

“And ignorance is bliss. That does not exempt us from doing the right thing.” 

“It’s not our job to clean up all the scum the Delta Quadrant has to offer. We could be here for a hundred years and never stop all of the bad people that are out here.” 

“We damn well may be here for one hundred years, and I would rather spend that entire time beating back the enemies than trading with them.” 

They both paused, gazing steely-eyed into each others unwavering commitment. Kathryn damned those fuzzy feelings of adolescent joy she’d just had in his office when he kissed her. She damned how much she felt for him, and how often half of those feelings conflicted with the other half. 

“You had no problem ignoring Starfleet protocols last night.” He said, his voice quiet but lethal whisper, “And neither did I. Because your life was at stake. Right now, we have two lives at stake, and they may be strangers, but their existence is more important than proving a goddamn point.” 

Heat rose in a suffocating wave up Kathryn’s throat and face, first shame and then anger. She wanted to fly across the room and slap him, but that was against Starfleet protocol too. The last thing she wanted was to prove his point for him. 

“Don’t bring our personal life into this.” She said, “It’s completely different-”

“Is it? You violated protocol by coming to my quarters last night, and so far, you haven’t had any qualms about it.” 

“I might be now.” 

Chakotay’s head tilted, his eyes narrowing in exasperation. 

“I’m only saying that we can’t pick and choose which rules we’re going to follow when they best suit our needs.” 

“I’ve never once deviated from Starfleet regulations.” Kathryn said, disbelief straining her tone, “I’ve always done my best to maintain protocol despite our situation. I thought you understood the extenuating circumstances involved. Are you blaming me for what happened?” 

“No.” 

“Don’t you think I would have stopped myself if I could have?” 

“I don’t know. Would you have?” 

“Yes …maybe … I don’t know. It’s done now. My point is, I am acting as captain now, and I am completely in control of my decisions. I have to stand by my beliefs.” 

Chakotay let out a sigh, and lowered his head. 

“Fine.” He said, “I’ll start prepping an away team, and I’ll brief Seven.” 

“Thank you.” 

He turned to leave, his shoulders sloped with tension. 

“Chakotay,” She said, taking an urgent step forward. 

The doors hissed shut again when he turned back to face her. The ready room hummed with the distant roar of the engines and groan of bulkheads, white noise to the thread of discord stretching between them. 

“Are you having regrets?” She whispered. 

He swallowed thickly, and gave a clipped shake of his head. “No. I’m sorry it came out like that, it was harsh of me.” 

“I would understand if you were.” Kathryn said, letting her hands fall from their crossed position to tangle anxiously at her waist, “This argument we’re having is exactly the reason Starfleet prohibits fraternizing between captains and subordinates. Every issue we encounter from now on could be a conflict of interest.” 

“I trust you’ll continue to hear out my side of the problem.” 

“Of course. You’re my first officer; I value your opinion above everyone else’s.” 

He smiled gently, and gave her a reassuring nod. “Then we’re going to be fine.” 

Kathryn conjured a weak smile. 

He ducked his head, a frown tugging at his brow. 

“Are  _ you _ having regrets?” He asked. 

Kathryn joined him at the door, and reached out a tentative hand to take his. His fingers wrapped around hers and squeezed, pressing a tremble into her skin where he had meant to leave reassurance. 

“If I am it’s only because I’m afraid.” She whispered. 

“I’ve never seen you be afraid of anything.” 

“Well, this time I am.” She said, hesitantly lifting her gaze to his, “I’m … terrified.” 

“Of what?” 

“We’re in a precarious situation here, Chakotay. There are no guarantees. As we speak, we are headed towards a battle that we might not win. We’re constantly putting our lives on the line for our beliefs, our morals, our family here on  _ Voyager _ . It never scared me before because it’s my job as the captain keep this crew and this ship safe, to throw myself in the line of fire before I let anyone else get hurt. But this is personal. I can’t protect myself from it; I can’t protect you. I can’t guarantee that we’re going to get home together, or that we’re going to be happy.” 

A bittersweet smile curled the corner of his mouth. He touched her cheek with a soft brush of his fingertips, and curled his hand around her nape. She let out a shuddering breath as he pulled her to him, and bent to press a kiss against her temple. 

“Love is the ultimate vulnerability.” He said, his voice vibrating into her skin, “Willingly laying your defenses down, and trusting the other person not to destroy you. I’m just as scared as you are, but I have to believe this is the right thing because I’ve never felt this way about anyone else.” 

Kathryn pulled back to meet his eyes, finding warmth and hope in their depths. She wanted to collapse into his gaze; for all the fire in her soul, there was equal amounts of weariness and longing, an ache for home that connected to more than just earth’s soil. 

“If it was guaranteed to work, there would be no striving, no effort, and no commitment.” Chakotay said, “I’m willing to put forth that work.” 

Kathryn nodded, swallowing back the lump forming in her throat. 

“So am I.” She whispered. 

“Good. Now, I think we have another job to do.” 

“Yes.” Kathryn said. 

She extricated herself from his arms, and squared her shoulders. 

“I want a report as soon as the away team is briefed.” She said, “I want a solid plan before we engage with the Naparre.” 

“Yes, Captain.” 

The ready room door slid open, and he was gone in the blink of an eye. When the doors shut behind his exit, Kathryn reached out to a hand to steady herself against the wall. 

The room hummed with the lingering remnants of their conversation, the promises and budding hopes of their future. She felt weak under the weight of it, the sharp anticipation his single kiss burning against her temple held. Memories of the previous night flashed through her mind, each one burning clear and erotic into the skin where he had touched her. 

She forced herself to stand up straight, and remember her role as captain. Everything else came second, no matter how much she longed for the freedom and release last night had offered her. 

 

~

 

Kathryn paced her ready room for the next several hours, checking the clock with growing anticipation. 

The plan was simple. 

They would rendezvous with the Naparre ship, and Seven would negotiate with their captain for Myrnah. When the Naparre lowered shields to make the exchange, Chakotay and the away team would beam over, get Myrnah and beam back. In the meantime, Harry would simulate a transporter malfunction to buy time with the phony exchange. By the time the Naparre realized it was a ruse, B’Elanna would already have them at peak warp speed. Kathryn could only hope it went as smoothly as it sounded. 

As they were nearing the rendezvous point, Kathryn left the ready room to take her seat on the bridge. 

Seven was standing ready at her console behind the command seat. 

“Ready?” Kathryn asked. 

“I am as prepared as I can be.” Seven said, “The risk of this mission is far greater than the reward.”

“I’ve already had one ethical debate over the decision with Chakotay. I understand the risks.” 

Seven arched an eyebrow, but didn’t pursue the argument. 

She marched around the railing to claim Chakotay’s chair. Kathryn swallowed back the prickle of fear at the thought of Chakotay beaming over to the Naparre ship with the away team. She’d sent him on dangerous missions before, and he’d always come back in one piece. This time wouldn’t be any different. 

“Captain, we’re approaching the Naparre ship.” Harry reported, “I have a visual.”

“On screen.” 

The approaching image of the Naparre ship appeared on the view screen. The vessel matched _ Voyager _ in size, but the hull plating was dark and bulky. The weapons were mounted visibly on the ship’s exterior, flaunting their ballistic superiority. 

“Scan them.” Kathryn said. 

“Initiating scan.” Tuvok replied, “The shields are raised, and weapons engaged. I’m reading a crew compliment of one hundred and five members.”

“Do you read any Orelle signatures?” 

“The shields are making it difficult to differentiate.” Tuvok said. 

“We’ll have to get them to lower their shields.” Kathryn said, “Open a channel.” 

“Channel is open.” 

Kathryn nodded at Seven. “You’re up.” 

“Seven of Nine to the Naparre. I am here to complete our trade agreement.” 

“I have a visual transmission coming through.” Harry said. 

“On screen.” Kathryn instructed. 

The view screen blinked from the view of the ship to an alien with leathery skin and long, coarse hair twisted in braids. A single horn rose from his tall forehead, and his mouth was set in a fierce snarl.

“Captain, so good to finally meet you in person.” He said, his voice crackling roughly through the com, “I can see you were not lying about the sophistication of your ship.” 

Kathryn cast Seven a disapproving glare. Apparently, she’d made herself captain in this fake buyer scenario. She wondered what role that put her in. 

“I do not lie when it comes to making a profitable deal.” Seven said, rising from her chair to pace toward the view screen, “I am certain you have scanned my ship just as we have scanned yours.” 

“Of course.” The Naparre captain said, a smile curling his mouth. 

“Then you know the warp plasma I promised you is the real thing.” 

“And you want proof of your purchase?” 

“Yes.” 

“Very well.” 

The view screen cut out again, going to black for a moment before transmitting the image of a slender, pale woman held between two Naparre soldiers. Her white hair was dirty and tangled, the collar of her dress ripped and showing a long, bleeding gash. Her wild, wet eyes gazed fearfully into the screen for half a second before the Naparre captain’s image returned. 

“You damaged the goods.” Seven said, raising a disgusted brow. 

“She would not cooperate. She is a feisty one. I have no problem getting her off my hands.” 

“Good. Then we can proceed with the trade?” 

“Yes. Lower your shields and I’ll lower mine.” 

“We lower our shields together.” Seven said, “On the count of three.” 

Kathryn nodded at Harry to follow Seven’s direction. 

“One, two, three.” Seven counted. 

Kathryn shot Tuvok a questioning gaze. He nodded, silently confirming the Naparre had lowered shields. Tuvok turned his back to the view screen, and tapped his combadge. Kathryn heard him whisper a command to the away team who was waiting in the transporter room. 

Tension roiled at Kathryn’s shoulders and neck. Her heart pounded in her ears as the next seconds stretched on into infinity. 

“Captain, I’m having a problem.” Harry announced, on cue. 

Kathryn bit her lip to keep from responding. 

“What is it?” Seven asked. 

“The transporter, it’s malfunctioning.” 

“What seems to be the problem?” The Naparre captain demanded. 

“I do not know.” Seven said, “If you will be patient, one of my engineers will examine the problem.” 

“Do you want this trade or not?” The captain demanded. 

“We do, I assure you.” Seven said, “I will have the transporter back online in a few moments, if you will please be patient.” 

“I won’t sit here all day.” 

“And you won’t have to. It will take just a moment.” 

Seven marched up to where Harry toyed with the operations console. She pushed him out of the way, and took control of the console. 

“A simple operator’s error.” She quipped at the view screen. 

Harry scowled. 

The Naparre captain peered dubiously through the screen, impatience growing on his weathered face. 

Kathryn crept from her chair to join Tuvok at the tactical console. They both turned toward his command station, with their backs to the view screen. 

“Any word from the away team?” She whispered. 

Tuvok shook his head. 

Kathryn checked the time displayed on the console. Five minutes had passed since the away team beamed over to the Naparre ship, but it felt like an eternity. 

“What’s taking them so long?” Kathryn muttered, rubbing her forehead. 

She spun back around when the Naparre captain announced, “What the hell is going on here?” 

“I am about to bring the transporter back online.” Seven said. 

“No, I mean what the hell is going on.” He growled as alarms began to whir and flash around him. “You sent spies to my ship?” 

Kathryn spun to look at Seven, who appeared just as shocked as her. 

_ Intruder alert!  _ The Naparre ship’s computer screeched through the com. 

“Raise shields!” Kathryn ordered, breaking the facade to run for her command chair. 

She had just reached her chair when the first volley of weapon’s fire rocked  _ Voyager.  _ She grabbed onto the arm of the chair to steady herself as the impact ricocheted through her. 

“Tuvok, weapons!”

“Bringing forward phasers online.” Tuvok said. 

“Harry, can you get the away team back?” Kathryn demanded. 

“I’m trying! They’re raising shields. I think I have a lock, but-”

“Get them back, now!”

The forward phaser array fired, and Kathryn watched as their fire exploded over the hull of the Naparre ship. The Naparre returned fire, momentarily blinding her with the blazing white of spatial charges before the impact sent her stumbling to the command chair. She fell over the arm of the chair, reaching out for the tactical console for readings. 

“Harry, the away team?” 

“Just a moment, captain. I almost have them!”

“Tuvok, lower shields just long enough to get them out of there!”

“Lowering shields.” 

“Lay down fire in the meantime. Fire the photon torpedoes if you have to!”

“Aye, Captain.” 

Kathryn clung to her command chair as the ship jolted and lurched with the impact of Naparre weapons. A conduit overhead blew, filling the bridge with the scent of smoke and burned out wiring. The computer whined in distress, high-pitched and frantic below the deafening sound of detonating weapons. 

“Harry?” 

“I have them!” Harry shouted, “They’re in transporter room one. We’ve got wounded!” 

“Tom, get us the hell out of here!” Kathryn shouted. 

“You don’t have to tell me twice.” Tom said, his fingers darting over the console to steer them away from the Naparre ship. 

Kathryn stumbled from her chair to the helm, looking over the display anxiously. They were sputtering to warp two, barely. 

“They’re bigger, bulkier.” She said, “We can outrun them if we can get enough power.” 

“That last impact blew out relays on three decks.” Tom said, “We’ll need to get the power from somewhere.” 

Kathryn’s hand went to her combadge, “Janeway to Engineering.” 

“Torres here.” B’Elanna replied, “Captain, I’m doing the best I can.” 

“Reroute all the power from the weapons to the warp core.” Kathryn ordered, “It’s one or the other, and we’re definitely not going to outgun them.” 

“Aye, Captain. Rerouting power.” 

Kathryn clutched the back of Tom’s chair as Naparre fired from behind them. 

“Aft shielding is down to fifty percent.” Tuvok reported. 

“B’Elanna?” Kathryn demanded. 

“Almost there, Captain!”

With a lurch, the warp core took the influx of power, and propelled them to warp seven. The jolt of weapons fire from behind them tapered off. 

Kathryn straightened, smoothing her hands down the front of her uniform. 

“Tuvok?” 

“We’ve exceeded their speed.” Tuvok said, “No sign of pursuit.” 

She let out a breath, brushing stray hair back from her face. She nodded. 

“Good. Harry, get crews on those relays. Tuvok, you have the bridge. I’ll be in sickbay.”

Kathryn marched into the turbolift with Seven on her heels. The doors slid shut, and the turbolift glided into motion. 

“Well, I think it went better than expected.” Kathryn said. 

“It could have been avoided entirely.” Seven replied, “We have made an enemy of the Naparre today. This engagement might not be the last we see of them.” 

“Seven, I have faced the Borg, Species 8472, the Kazon, the Hirogen … I could go on. None of them have ever stopped us, and these Naparre certainly won’t. I don’t negotiate with terrorists - that’s not Starfleet, that’s me, and what I’m willing to live with.” 

“Even if it means endangering the entire crew?” 

“Seven, when we take it upon ourselves to help someone in need - in this case, Nomi - we can’t back out of it the moment things become difficult. We made ourselves responsible for this situation when we responded to his distress signal. And as the captain of this ship, I was responsible for how we decided to proceed. In this case, I may not have chosen the easiest route, but I chose the one I could live with. The ethical choice.” 

Seven raised her eyebrow. 

The turbolift came to a halt, and the doors slid open. Kathryn waved a hand for Seven to go first. 

Seven stepped out of the turbolift, and Kathryn watched her stride off down the hall. She supposed some of the nuances of humanity would always be a mystery to someone like Seven. 

Kathryn took the other corridor to sickbay, her heart picking up it’s pace. Harry had said they had wounded, but no transmission had come from the Doctor to confirm just how serious it was. 

The doors of sickbay whisked open, revealing occupied biobeds from one end of the room to the other. People of a dozen different species lapsed on the beds while the Doctor and few ensigns rushed around administering hyposprays. 

Kathryn wandered inside, nearly colliding with an ensign carrying a tray of medical supplies. She took a step back to let him pass, and peered around the room in confusion. Her perusal came to a halt when she saw a familiar figure in the midst of strangers. 

Kathryn rushed across the room where Chakotay sat hunched on the edge of a biobed while one of the ensigns treated him with a dermal regenerator. 

“Chakotay,” She whispered, stopping at the end of the bed. 

He turned his head to look at her, revealing the plasma burn etched over his left cheek. 

“What happened?” Kathryn asked, breaking from her paralyzed stance to come to his side. She put a hand on his knee as he winced in pain, “Chakotay?” 

“We ran into some trouble.” He said, “It turns out the Naparre had a lot more people than just Myrnah over there.” 

“Is that who all these people are?” Kathryn asked, glancing over his shoulder at the stranger filling the beds. 

Chakotay nodded. “We couldn’t just leave them behind.” 

“Ensign,” Kathryn addressed the young man treating Chakotay’s burn. She held her hand out for the dermal regenerator.  

The ensign slowly resigned the tool. 

“I know how to use this.” Kathryn said, “His wound isn’t serious. Help someone else.” 

“Yes, ma’am.” 

When they were alone, Kathryn adjusted the setting on the tool and brought it back into position. Chakotay’s eyes crept up to meet hers, crinkling around the corners with a soft smile. 

“You were right.” He murmured. 

“About what?” 

“It was the right thing to do. The Naparre had all these people locked in jail cells. They’re all hungry, dehydrated, some of them were physically assaulted. If we had gone through with the trade, they would all still be prisoners.” 

Kathryn nodded. “I’m glad you got them out, but I don’t think I could have lived with myself if something worse than a plasma burn happened to you.” 

His hand drifted from the edge of the bed to touch her hip. 

“Not here.” She whispered, her face flushing hot at his slightest touch. 

His hand curled into a fist against his knee, and he ducked his head. “Sorry.” 

Kathryn glanced around the room to check that no one was paying any attention to them. 

“You  _ did  _ just risk life and limb for my peace of mind, however …” 

His gaze flicked back to hers, and she bit back a smile at the promise lingering at the end of her unfinished remark. 

“Just not here.” She added. 

He swallowed, his eyes darkening with an unspoken desire. 

Kathryn turned off the dermal regenerator, and turned his left cheek toward her with a nudge of her thumb. 

“You’re good as new, Commander. I think you should be able to report for duty straightaway.” 

A coy smile curled his mouth. “Aye, Captain.” 


	5. Epilogue

For the next two days, Kathryn’s time was occupied with supervising ship repairs and contacting the homeworlds of the people they rescued from the Naparre. After speaking with more than ten different government entities, exhaustion hedged at her brain and limbs. A headache pulsed at the base of her skull, reminding her of just how long it had been since her last cup of coffee, or a proper meal for that matter. 

She had just signed off with yet another delegate when the door chimed. 

Kathryn leaned back in her chair, rubbing a hand over her face as she called, “Come in.” 

Chakotay stepped inside, holding a padd between his hands. 

“End of shift reports.” He said, holding up the padd. 

“Spare me the reading and summarize.” Kathryn said. 

“We have most of the relays repaired, but there was some exterior hull damage that will take a little longer to fix.” Chakotay said, “B’Elanna said it should only be another day before we’re back to peak efficiency.” 

“Good. And sickbay?” 

“The Doctor said all of his patients are doing extremely well. Most of them were hungry or dehydrated, no serious injuries. The Naparre were taking fair care of them considering they were planning on making a profit on the prisoners.” 

“I’ll make an appearance once my head stops pounding.” 

“Maybe you should make an appearance, and get an analgesic from The Doctor.”

“Thanks, but I’ve had enough of sickbay the past few days. It’s nothing a good cup of black coffee won’t cure.” 

“And a meal?” Chakotay said, casting her a disapproving gaze, “And a good night’s sleep.”

“Mmm.”

“How about we head down to the mess hall, and I can finish summarizing the reports over Neelix’s dinner leftovers?” He suggested, a hopeful smile curling his mouth. 

“I was thinking of heading to my quarters, actually.” 

“The replicator it is.” 

Kathryn struggled not to smile at his tenacity. She gazed at him fondly as he rounded the desk, and offered his arm to her. 

“What? If you think I’m going to let you go to bed hungry, you have another thing coming … _ Captain _ .” 

She let out a sigh, and reached up to take his arm. His other hand crossed over her knuckles, holding her securely to him as he did most of the work to get her up out of the chair. 

She leaned into the strength of his shoulder as they made their way across the room, and let go reluctantly at the door. They stepped out onto the bridge as captain and first officer, titles she was ready to shed the moment they were alone. 

After the last two days, not only was his company a welcome respite, but it was also a reminder that, while her duties as captain hadn’t changed, her personal future was uncertain. Part of her was afraid to release her control, to take her finger off the trigger of her defenses; the other part, the naive little girl of childhood and dreams, longed for companionship and love. Years of loneliness stretched behind her, just as comforting as they were painful. There was ease in her solitude, a safety that revolted against this abrupt, if not irresponsible choice that lay before her. 

When they arrived at her quarters, Kathryn led them inside. She shrugged out of her jacket, and threw it over the back of her recliner as she made her way to the replicator. 

“Coffee, black.” 

The replicator beeped and hummed before producing a steaming cup of coffee. 

Kathryn took the cup, and turned to see Chakotay lingering by the door. 

“Would you like anything?” 

He shook his head. “I had dinner, thanks.” 

“Very well.” 

Kathryn ordered a bowl of soup and a slice of baguette from the replicator, and set them on the table. 

Chakotay seemed to relax when she sat down, and dipped the baguette in the broth. He joined at her at the table, and cleared his throat. 

“I can continue with the report …” 

“I trust the ship is in good hands with my first officer.” Kathryn said with a soft smile, “I’ll read the rest of the report later, but I did want to ask you about Nomi. The Doctor told me he was about to bring Nomi out of the coma, and I secured private quarters for them but I’ve been so busy with finding the homes our visitors I haven’t been able to check up on them.” 

“I spoke to The Doctor, and he said they’re doing fine. Nomi is back to almost perfect health, and none of Myrnah’s wounds from the Naparre were serious.”

“Good.” 

“We found the cure.” Chakotay murmured, “No one was injured, and Nomi and Myrnah are probably happier now than ever before.”

Kathryn let her spoon slide into the bowl with a clink. 

“And you’re not?” 

Chakotay drew in a deep breath. His eyes glinted with introspective focus, the chatter of his constantly shifting thoughts pulsing behind his pupils. 

“I keep thinking about that night … you …”

Kathryn’s spine stiffened against the impending note of sadness in his voice. 

“What about me?” 

“You told me that you knew exactly what you were doing.” He said, “But when we were arguing about how to go about saving Myrnah, you asked me ‘don’t you think I would have stopped myself if I could?’ And I can’t convince myself that you could have.” 

Kathryn swallowed, the savory taste of the soup going sour at the back of her tongue. 

“At the time, I felt I knew what I was doing. I thought … if going to you was the cure, it was the one I wanted.” 

“But let’s face it … it was the only cure, the only option. You didn’t have another choice.” 

“If so, I can live with it.” 

His gaze drifted from hers, unconvinced. 

“Chakotay,” She said, leaning forward to catch his gaze, “I told you I wasn’t having regrets, and I meant it.” 

“I want this more than you know.” He said. His brows furrowed deeper as he reached across the table to clasp her hand in his, “But I don’t want to think back on our first night together, and remember that I took advantage of you.” 

“Took advantage of-” 

Kathryn pushed her chair back, the sudden heat of indignation propelling her to her feet. 

“This is my body.” She said, dropping her knuckles to the table with a clank, “If you had taken advantage of me, you’d be on your ass in the Brig, not here in my quarters. I made that choice; it was  _ my  _ choice, no matter how it came about.” 

He gazed up at her wide-eyed for a moment before his rigid expression began to crumble to relief. 

“If anything, it was only the final straw.” She added, softer this time, “Whatever was holding me back before was gone. Whatever it was - rank, duty, command - it was all negligible in that moment.” 

A smile ghosted at his mouth. She could see the relief rushing through him, moderated only by his lingering doubts. 

Kathryn lowered her head, scoffing against the threat of emotion clutching the back of her throat. 

“I almost wish I could have that feeling back.” She murmured. 

“So do I.” He said, quietly, “You’re much too harsh with yourself.”

“I have to be.” She said, crossing her arms in defense, “A captain can’t afford to be lax in any area. Discipline is what they teach in the Academy, and it’s what’s required every day on the job.” 

“On the job. Not in your personal life.” 

“On a mission like this one, they’re one and the same.” Kathryn said. She clenched her jaw against familiar guilt. “I made sure of that.” 

He cast her a confused, if not horrified gaze. 

“I’ve questioned now for awhile whether or not I deserve this.” She said, waving a finger between them, “But one night took care of all of that, and I can’t unring that bell.” 

“Do you want to unring it?” 

“No.” Kathryn said, her mouth tugging in a bittersweet smile, “God, no.”

He shook his head, a frown shadowing his brow, “I can’t agree with you. Whatever you think it is that you’ve done to deserve a life of loneliness, you’re wrong.” 

“I wasn’t alone.” She said, “I had a fiance, a life. And I made the choice to leave that all behind for people I didn’t even know. I can’t be sad for feeling alone when I made it that way. I could have been happy, you know …” 

“You can’t change the past.” 

“I can certainly reflect on it.” 

“What about the future?” 

The unspoken words hung in the air between them -  _ our future.  _

Kathryn clung to his gentle gaze, pupils smoldering with well tended devotion and bridled passion. She had unlocked this gate once already, and her fingers brushed at the latch to his heart. One move and he was hers. One word and he would never leave her side again. 

“Are you sure?” She whispered, aware of the tremble her voice had acquired. 

He gave a slight nod. 

Rising from his chair and discarding the padd, he moved around the table to where she stood. Their gazes connected, emotions and desires laid bare to one another. Need pulsed between them like an invisible frequency; Kathryn could already feel the weight of it in her belly, the clench and heat of arousal gathering between her trembling thighs. 

As he closed the space between them, he lifted one hand to take her by the cheek. His fingers grazed her jawline and slid into her nape, tangling in her hair and dragging her forward. 

“I’ve never been more sure about anything.” He whispered. 

“How can you be?” She pressed, searching his gaze for reassurance, “There’s so much ahead of us that we don’t know.”

“And so much behind us.” He said, a smile curving his mouth, “Everything that we’ve been through together tells me that this is the right thing.” 

Kathryn’s eyes slipped shut against the surge of emotion in her chest. Her grip on her logic, her defenses was slipping. Her power of choice muted by this strong pull of desire, of joy that dragged her toward him. 

The freefall was short and quick. Terrifying. 

But when she opened her eyes, she was only falling into his eyes. He was breaking her fall, just like he always did. She was safe here; for the first time in awhile, she believed that sentiment. 

She gave a limp nod. 

Unlike their fevered night together, she was weakened by the desire rather than propelled by it. 

But she didn’t need to be. 

His kiss came quick and hard,  mouth blazing with fiery passion over hers, stealing her breath away. She clutched at his chest as her legs weakened, every fiber of her being melting to his touch, his taste. His other arm slid around her waist, bearing her up against him with ease. 

His mouth tore from hers to pursue the soft, pulsing skin of her neck. Stubble scraped her jaw and neck, followed by the soothing warmth of his mouth, the flick of his tongue against the tempo of her heartbeat. 

She clung to his shoulders as his hands gathered her backside, lifting her onto the edge of the table.  He reached around to her to push her forgotten dinner and coffee cup out of the way, and leaned back to breathe hot against her cheeks. His gaze devoured her from an inch away, too close now for her to consider anything else but giving in. 

She took his face in her hands, the warmth of his skin and clench of his jaw assuring her that this moment was real. 

“I need you to touch me.” She whispered. 

He urged between her legs, hands kneading over her backside with trembling fingers. His breaths came hot and shaky against her cheek as she reached down to pull the hem of her shirt from her trousers. 

“Do it.” She pressed, nodding toward the fasten of her pants. 

He pried his hand from her hip, and brought his quaking fingers to the button. Kathryn bit her lip as he worked it open, and brought the zipper down with a grinding hiss. 

They pulled at the fabric together, working the trousers over her hips and out from underneath her. They collapsed to the floor, and Kathryn felt the prickle of goosebumps all the way up her calves and thighs. Heat tightened in her groin as she wiggled to the edge of the table, her body reaching for the caress of his hand. 

His fingers grazed her knee, hesitating for a brief, aching moment before tracing a feathery light line up her inner thigh. 

Kathryn’s chest shuddered with a moan. The pulse of her heartbeat and the roar of need melded into white noise in the back of her mind as his fingers stroked between her legs. The simple caress radiating through the damp fabric of her panties, into her skin, into her clitoris where the need gathered and hummed. 

HIs mouth nudged against her jaw, the heat of his mouth making it’s way to her ear. 

“Like this?” He murmured. 

His fingertips swirled against her clothed clitoris, sparking electric need through every nerve in her body. She grabbed onto his arm, gasping in drumming need. 

“Yes, yes…” She panted. 

Her mouth stretched open as he dragged his fingers up to the elastic of her panties. They delved beneath the thin layer of cotton to trace the wet, swollen edges of her labia. 

A shuddering breath rushed from his mouth as arousal spilled over his fingers. The flesh parted to his gentle stroking, leaving her vulnerable to the friction and the threat of orgasm. 

His arms curled around her waist as she lurched against him. The light caress against her clitoris was torturous, her body ready to tear about with the force of need. Every fiber in her throbbed for release, but it hovered just at the perimeter of her mind. 

“Please.” She rasped, her nails clawing at the shoulder of his uniform. 

His hand retreated, leaving her aching and smarting. Curling his fingers around the edge of the panties, he brought them down with a firm tug. Stitching popped beneath the force before the garment surrendered around her ankles. She kicked them away, throwing her legs open to the hovering threat of his hand. 

She turned a plaintive gaze on him, and found herself being swallowed by the darkness of his eyes. He didn’t speak, but the look in his eyes said everything. The desire, the need, the power, the love, everything she thought her fever-addled brain might have imagined three nights ago was all there in the steady pulse of his gaze. Maybe it always had been; maybe she was seeing clearly for the first time. 

He sank to his knees in front of her, his head dipping to her thigh. He kissed softly against her inner thigh, leaving the imprint of his mouth burning into her skin as he made his way to the crux of her thigh. His hand curled around her hips, dragging her to the edge of the table and against the pressure of his mouth. 

Kathryn’s head fell back, a moan drifting from her mouth. 

His lips brushed against her, letting her eagerness build to a tremble. When his tongue arched forward to taste her, the sound of pleasure choked in the back of her throat twisted to a desperate cry. 

One hand molded to her lower back, pinning her against the soft, wet pressure of his tongue. Her body stiffened and shook against the embrace, the structure and foundation of her melting away to sand in his confident hands. She slipped away into the pleasure, her eyes closing to the physical world and diving into the fluidity of bliss. She was tender flesh and open nerve endings, reduced to her desire for him, to the encompassing weight of his devotion. Command and responsibility were concepts that couldn’t reach her. She stopped overthinking, stopped thinking entirely. In this moment, she wasn’t afraid anymore. She was simply pleasure, and light, and the dull, aching throb that built toward its own self-destruction. And like a collapsing star, she fell into herself, imploding and coming apart, only finding her way back to herself when the spasms and ripples of pleasure had faded away into the vastness of space. 

Kathryn’s eyes drifted open as the tide of pleasure rolled back from her body, and she was left humming and shivering in it’s wake. 

Chakotay’s mouth planted a final kiss against her thigh before he rose to his feet. 

His eyes were bright and warm, dimples appearing; it was like the sun coming out after a dismal storm. She trusted it in her bones, in her soul; she trusted this feeling of hope well up inside her. 

He cradled her flushed cheek, dragging her into a kiss that tasted of her musky arousal. She wound her arms around his neck, and kissed him back, taken by his lips and all they had done to her. 

Urging against him, she reached between them to feel his hard cock trapped under layers of fabric. She gave a soft moan of pleasure as she felt along his erection, satisfied by the throbbing response to her caress. 

He broke the kiss with a deep, shaking breath.

“I need you.” He whispered, his voice scraping low and thin from his throat. 

She nodded, her pulse spiking. 

His hand moved from from her hip to the front of his trousers, twisting the button and zipper open. The fabric rustled to the floor around his ankles, leaving his boxers stretched over the rigid bulge of his cock. His thumb slid below the elastic, peeling it back slowly. His cock slid free of the final restraint, throbbing thick and dusky against his belly. 

Kathryn drew in a hitched breath, and reached out a tentative hand. He shifted closer, nudging the swollen head of his cock into her palm. As her fingers fit around him, he urged the boxers down his thighs. 

He paused to breathe out a moan as she stroked him before reaching up to unzip his jacket. He shrugged out of the uniform, and pushed against her, searching for entrance. 

She wiggled to the edge of the desk, and brought his cock to her with a firm grasp. He grunted, shaking hands seizing her by the hips when his cockhead brushed against her warm, wet entrance.

Kathryn relinquished her hand, letting him slid against her wet, pulsing skin. His cockhead grazed her clitoris, sparking pleasure through her sensitized skin before he finally breached her. 

Kathryn gasped as his cock slid into her, filling her aching body with the same pleasure her fever-addled memories were branded with. This satisfaction had been no feat of imagination induced by delirium, no exaggeration. When he thrust against her, she felt the impact through her entire body. Felt every ripple of pleasure through him, every swell and throb, every inch. Felt him touching her depths, leaving his mark. This time, she was awake and lucid to every shift and moan. She was awake to his arms wrapping around her, gathering her possessively to his chest, and locking tight. She was awake to the shudder and pulse of his body, and to every low moan and sound of pleasure.

But between the raw and the impulse, there was intent and desperation. Their two souls reaching for one another across the barriers of rank and circumstance and wounds. This wasn’t a reckless, uncontrollable drive for pleasure; this time, it was decisive and real, and that sensation wove deeper into her soul than all that had come before. 

 

~

 

After they took their time in the shower, Chakotay convinced Kathryn to replicate another bowl of soup, and to finish this one. 

When she was done eating, she took him by the hand and led him to her bed. Her eyes were soft with an invitation, her mouth curled in a teasing smile that set his heart at ease. 

Lying down, he opened his arms to her, and she came without hesitation. With her warm, naked body curled up against him, he felt contentment settle into his bones, a feeling he’d longed for for years but hadn’t felt in a decade. 

They laid in silence for a long time, listening to the distant rumble of  _ Voyager _ ’s engines. He could sense their quiet thoughts following the same pattern, intertwining in the space between their minds, searching, questioning, hoping. 

Chakotay glanced at the clock on the bedside table, noting it was well past midnight now. His gaze drifted to the book sitting beside the clock. It was a copy of  _ Dante’s Inferno,  _ the cover faded with use, the pages curled and yellowed. 

He reached out to snag the book, and flipped it over to scrutinize the cover. 

“Is this what you read before bed?” He asked. 

“Mm, sometimes.” She murmured, a sad smile touching her mouth, “Open the cover.”

Chakotay open the hardback gently, hearing the bindings creak with age. His gaze skimmed the words written on the cover page. 

_ To Kath,  _

_ You know I love you more than words, but the words in these pages should convey just enough _

Kathryn reached out to touch the name written below the inscription. 

_ Love, Mark _

Chakotay scrambled to find an appropriate response, but he knew there wasn’t one. That was a wound deeper than most, newer and more potent as well. He moved to put the book back on the table, but she snagged his wrist. 

“It’s okay.” She said, “I’ve shed my tears, and mourned that loss.”

“Are you sure?” 

She turned her cheek against his shoulder to look him directly in the eyes. 

“Yes.” She said, firmly, “I want to be here with  _ you _ . Not living in the past, in a world that’s never going to happen. I realize that now.” 

“It doesn’t make it hurt less.” 

“No.” She murmured. 

She reached over to turn the page, hiding the love note with the first page of chapter one. 

“Midway upon the journey of our life, I found myself within a dark forest, for the straightforward pathway had been lost …” Chakotay read, his voice a husky whisper. 

“Sounds familiar, hm?” She whispered. 

He wrapped his arm tighter around her shoulder, pulling her against his side. 

“If we’re lost, we’re lost together.” 

“We’re terribly lost.” 

“We’re on the road home.” 

She lifted her head from his shoulder, gazing down at him with misty, blue eyes of wonder. She pressed a kiss to his mouth, a low chuckle vibrating from her lips to his. She was smiling when she settled back against him, her hand clutched warmly over his heart. 

“Keep reading.” She whispered. 

  
~the end~

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! :)
> 
> You can also find me on [Tumblr!](http://clairehales.tumblr.com//)!


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